She Dreamed of Paradise
by SuspianFeels
Summary: AU; Susan is a completely ordinary girl, that is until she wishes upon a star and gets transported into the fictional world inside her favourite book. While searching for a way home, one thing becomes clear; you must be careful what you wish for.
1. Fantasy

**Name: **She Dreamed of Paradise

**Summary: **AU; Susan is a completely ordinary girl, that is until she wishes upon a star and gets transported into the fictional world inside her favourite book. But the real question is how the hell does Susan get back?

**Pairing: **Susan/Caspian

**Rating: **M – for violence, horror themes in future chapters, drug and alcohol use and abuse in later chapters, possible lemons and let's just say Caspian without a shirt. (It's a good reason, shut up)

**Genre: **Romance/Adventure

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing used, except for the idea for this story. This story is purely for entertainment purposes only.

**Author's note: **So hello all you lovely people! I've decided to write a Narnia fanfiction simply because I have absolutely nothing better to do with my life than do this so here it is. Hope you all enjoy it and if I've written anything wrong or something isn't fully correct, please do tell me via review or personal message, I won't shout at you. I promise!

**Chapter song:** Fantasy by MS MR.

But without babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

_"How could you be what I wanna see?_  
_When my reality_  
_Could never live up, could never live up_  
_To the fantasy"_

Susan Pevensie walked slowly and quietly down the quiet streets of Finchley, a smile plastering itself on her lips as her eyes focused on the pavement beneath her feet. For once, it was a warm summers day without a cloud in the sky; a perfect day to call the end of term.

The warm sun shone down on her pale skin, feeling herself instantly warming and her school uniform getting hot and heavy with every step she took along the street.

_Thank god I'm almost home. _She thought; her eyes squinting as her removed her dark blue blazer and loosened her tie from around her neck, allowing some air to circulate around her body. She took a deep breath, resting her blazer on her arm as she opens her front gate with her free hand.

She unlocked our front door, carefully stepping over the post on the floor as she walked inside. "I'm home!" She called out, picking up the post from the floor and closing the door behind her.

Susan was usually home before everyone else; Peter normally finished around five while Edmund and Lucy were around four, leaving her home alone when she got home around three to wait for her siblings so she could start to prepare dinner for her parents.

She flipped through the letters in her hands, most of them being bills and letters for her siblings. Not getting any letters wasn't a rare thing for Susan now that she had told all her friends that she was leaving school and had been accepted into another.

Susan gently placed the letters on the kitchen table before running upstairs to change and make a start on her preparations for dinner, so they would be ready for when Edmund and Lucy came home.

She throws her school bag and blazer onto her bed before she opens the window, allowing some cool air into her hot and stuffy room. She took a deep breath, her lips breaking into a wide smile as she practically tore off her school uniform, throwing it onto the floor as she turns on her dark red radio beside her bed.

The sound of some new boy-band's song blared through the quiet house; along with the jumping around of an over-excited seventeen year old almost made the whole house shake every time Susan jumped up and down. After the song finished, Susan lay on her bedroom floor, trying to catch her breath as her heart hammered inside her chest.

Susan slowly sat up as her heartbeat slowed down to her normal rate, her eyes scanning her room before pinpointing her favourite book; Land Of Dusk, laying down on her bedside table beside her radio.

She admitted herself, her copy of the book was tatty and worn down but she still loved it. She had read it over a hundred times but she didn't care, every time she read it her heart leaped, just like she was reading it for the first time all over again.

The story was about a prince called Caspian and his quest to save his kingdom from the never-ending dusk that forces itself onto the land, dooming every citizen of Narnia to a life of darkness until Caspian breaks the curse and rules the kingdom as king. However, she did feel slightly jealous of lady Suzanna as Caspian was hopelessly in love with her, even though Suzanna didn't even like Caspian.

_If I was her, I'd marry him in a heartbeat._

A small smile played on her lips as Susan slipped into a slightly oversized t-shirt and a pair of denim shorts before grabbing the book and carrying on from where she left off.

"Chapter fourteen; Edge of freedom." Susan muttered softly to herself as she started reading, feeling her whole world dissolve around her as she completely loses herself in her book.

~#~

"Susan, have you even made a start on dinner?" Susan jumped at the sound of her mother's voice, bringing her back into reality with a massive THUD.

"Oh shoot! I'm sorry, mum. I lost track of time, I guess." Susan placed a hand over her rapidly beating heart as she puts her book down and stands up.

"It's alright, we'll just order pizza instead." Her mother gave Susan a small smile before gently patting her shoulder and walking out of the room, leaving Susan a tad book-hungover.

Susan looked out the window, noticing quickly that it was dark outside and the temperature had dropped dramatically. Shivering, she closed her window and throwing on a grey cardigan to keep her warm before walking downstairs to face her siblings.

"Ah, she awakens." Peter joked, gently nudging Susan's side with his elbow as he walked past her, slice of toast in his hand and a plate full of toast and pate in the other.

Susan smiled softly, shaking her head as she walked through the hallway to get to the living room, which leads to some French doors which lead to the small garden, where she'd always find Lucy.

Susan quietly sneaked out onto the patio, sitting on the plastic chair next to Lucy. Both of them did this almost every night, looked at the stars and talked about anything that was bothering them, it had somehow become a tradition and if it was missed, one or the other would feel a hole inside of them had been left empty.

"Thank god you're out here now, Su. The tea's getting cold." Lucy smiled at her older sister, pouring some warm tea into an empty mug before offering it to her sister.

"Sorry, Lu. I lost track of time again. I was reading." Susan confessed, taking a sip of her tea as she looks up to the starry night above them.

"As usual." Lucy laughed softly, her gaze following Susan's as she looked up at the bright stars and constellations above them.

Nothing was said for a while after that, both girls had almost nothing to say. All they could do was stare up at the stars above them both and every once in a while, take small sips of their drinks.

"There's a shooting star, look! I wish to be as pretty as you are when I grow up. What do you wish for, Susan?" Lucy asked, taking a small sip of her hot chocolate as she turned her gaze towards her sister, almost knowing what she was going to say almost by heart.

"I wish that I could live in my favourite book." Susan whispered, in a dreamy rather sing-song voice as her eyes slowly closed and a small smile rose across her lips, her face instantly brightening just at the thought if her wish came true.

_Please work, please work, please work. _She silently prayed, but little did she know her wish was just about to come true.

* * *

**Second author's note: **So, here it is; the first chapter! I hope you guys like it; don't forget to leave a review and whatnot.

Until next time, guys.

Lorna.


	2. Strange and Unprepared

**Author's note: **Thank you so much for all your lovely reviews and I'm so sorry about the lateness of this chapter, I was busy with holiday things and I wanted to make sure this chapter was as perfect as I could make it so I apologise. But if you guys have any ideas to improve or add to the story, just leave it in the review and I might add it into the story!

I've added in the idea submitted by Guest – which is Susan becomes Suzanna in the story, but I've added that Susan and Suzanna swap places so Suzanna goes into the real world and vice versa.

And I've also changed the title of the kingdom to Narnia since it makes a lot more sense and it was pointed out by another Guest.

One very special thing for you, dear reviewers; I'm planning on having Susan have her own guardian angel to help her through the story, but my question is who should it be?

I was thinking of having it as Aslan but I'm still unsure at the moment, leave me a message or in your review of who it should be, it would be much appreciated.

If things didn't make sense in the first chapter it's because I stayed up until about 1am writing it and my tiredness ruins everything.

Chapter song: Strange and Unprepared by Copeland.

But without me blabbering on too long, on with the story.

* * *

_"I never stop feeling strange,  
Cause you never know if you really changed.  
You can never tell if your center stage  
Is thin as glass and never meant a thing."_

Susan slowly opened her eyes to the bright and warm sunshine beaming down on her face. She smiled softly, closing her eyes once more as she relaxed back into her bed. After a few moments; Susan opened her eyes once more, her eyebrows fusing together as she looks around the room she was in. She sat up straight, her eyes wide like they were about to pop out of her skull as she slides out of bed.

"Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." She muttered under her breath, slowly and quietly walking along the cold stone floor. Instead of hearing the usual and familiar noises of cars and people on the street outside from Finchley, all she heard was silence. And that scared her more than anything else in the world. She wanted to scream, cry, have a mental breakdown and throw a world-class temper tantrum all at once, just do something to maybe rid herself of what's happened to her, at least.

She certainly felt the same person, maybe this was all a dream and she'd fallen asleep while reading again. But it all seemed too real to be a simple figment of her imagination, and everything seemed far too tangible to just brush it off as a dream.

Susan slowly walked over towards the balcony beside the bed, gently moving the thin curtains to one side so she could easily get past. As she walked into the bright sunlight and was able to see more of her surroundings, Susan properly realized the seriousness her dilemma.

She felt a lump in her throat and knew she would end up crying, but no, she would not allow herself to cry. Susan Pevensie never cries – well, she never cries in front of people. What people don't know what goes on behind the scenes; the less people talk bad things about you.

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath to stop the tears from forming in her eyes before she turned away from the balcony to take a proper look at the room she had awoken inside mere minutes before.

_I'm definitely not home, not at home at all. _Susan's inner childlike voice told her, the voice that only came out when she was deeply afraid but thankfully in Susan's case, she was hardly ever scared. Mostly because she never placed herself in situations where she would be, and her brothers mostly protected her from almost anything and everything that would scare her.

Susan's fingertips slowly trailed themselves along the white stone walls inside the bedroom, inspecting every tiny detail in sight. The small rubies and sapphires woven into the heavily decorated curtains, the images of animals and trees carved into the wooden posts upon the four-poster bed and the wardrobe, the immaculate state of everything inside the room; everything just seemed to foreign to her.

She took a deep breath, sitting herself down before the rather extravagant dressing table towards the back of the room. Susan's fingers gently touched the delicate diamond earrings and pearl necklaces that covered the wooden dressing table. Back in Finchley, you would have to of been a queen or a celebrity to even look at a diamond, let alone wear fifteen on each ear for one night.

Susan frowned to herself as she gently picked up a pearl necklace, gently threating it through her fingers to examine every single pearl upon the chain. All the pearls seemed to be perfectly shaped into a small ball but one seemed slightly twisted out of shape, making it stick out from the otherwise perfect necklace – it was just like Suzanna's in Land of Dusk.

_No, that's impossible._

It could just be a coincidence that both this woman's pearl necklace and Suzanna's had the exact same twisted pearl. It had to be, Suzanna isn't a real human being. She's a simple figment of hers and the writer's imagination, nothing more and nothing less, that's all she is and all she ever will be.

She brought the necklace to her neck, admiring how pretty it looked on her neck in the mirror. It almost seemed like the necklace was made especially for her, how perfect it seemed to fit around her neck –

Susan placed the necklace down upon the dressing table before turning away and towards the door, turning the cold handle downwards to open it. She had to get the thoughts of that necklace and the bedroom out of her mind, or she would completely lose her head.

The hallway the bedroom lead to seemed to be empty of life and so still and quiet she could hear the insects buzzing around outside, everything just seemed like a picture from one of the many art galleries she had visited with school over the last few years.

She felt a slight chill run through her body, suddenly becoming aware of what she was wearing. She was no longer in the oversized shirt and shorts she had gone to sleep in, Susan now found herself wearing a long flowing red gown that came down past her feet and trailed across the marble floor beneath her feet.

_This place just gets weirder and weirder._

Susan took a deep breath, bringing her skirts up slightly so it was easier for her to walk around the halls and try to figure out where the hell she was exactly.

~#~

The halls seemed to go on forever but finally, Susan found her way out and slowly walked out into what appeared to be a courtyard but honestly she couldn't be sure, everything seemed to be so confusing today and it appeared to her that anything can happen.

She heard someone running towards her at great speed. After a few moments, Susan made it out as the form of a young woman, around the same age as herself. "Lady Suzanna, I have been looking for you all day, where in heaven's name have you been?"

Susan's eyes widened as her heard skipped a beat inside her chest. _Suzanna. Lady Suzanna. It all makes sense now. _"S-sorry, should I know you?" Her question came out as a stutter more than anything, her lower lip slowly shaking as she started to bite into it with her teeth.

The girl before her curtsied slightly, her eyebrows fusing together in a frown as she looked at Susan. "Suzanna, I am Helena. Your personal servant… you did personally ask for one yourself and I gracefully rose to the challenge."

Susan swallowed hard. Helena was Suzanna's personal servant, just like she said. Could it be at all possible that she'd somehow landed inside her favourite book? But magic isn't real, and neither is Narnia. So someone should wake her up now.

"Oh, of course I remember you now Helena, how foolish of me to forget. You must forgive me; I seem to have awoken with a slight memory change. Also, you must call me Susan, no more of this Suzanna business." Susan gave Helena a small smile, brushing a piece of hair behind her ear.

_Where did that spring of confidence come from?_

"Lady Suzanna!" A male voice called out to Susan from behind her, a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

Susan mentally rolled her eyes as she turned around but froze the moment she set eyes on him. His dark eyes locked with hers and she felt a slight twinge within her heart. Where he was standing, he blocked out the sun from her view, the sunlight almost making a halo around his head.

"Prince Caspian, my lady. Now, if you'll excuse me." Helena curtsied towards Caspian, slowly walking away from Susan and Caspian to give them some privacy.

_Caspian? No, this can't be happening. He's not real, none of this is real._

Caspian handed Susan the bouquet of flowers before pressing a gentle kiss to her cheek. "You are looking as lovely as always, my lady. You are as radiant as the sun, the moon and all of the stars and possibly even more."

Susan couldn't stop the blush that spread across her cheeks as she held the flowers in her hands and looked at the angel before her. Everything seemed to be so perfect in that moment. He was just so beautiful standing there, and Susan wanted nothing to ever change again. If that moment was over, Susan felt as if nothing would ever be perfect again. She just wished she could stop time altogether and live in that moment for the rest of time – no matter how impossible that thought might be.

With her free hand, Susan gently placed a hand on Caspian's cheek. He was real; he was a living, breathing human being and he was perfect in every way that was humanly possible. Mentally taking every ounce strength within her, Susan closed her eyes and pressed her lips to his in a gentle kiss.

* * *

**Second author's note: **So they finally met and kissed. Man, this chapter is now the longest chapter I have ever written and the five pages of writing certainly does give it away. But I really hope you all enjoy this chapter, and don't forget to tell me who you think should be Susan's guardian!

See you all in the next chapter;

Lorna.


	3. Shatter Me

**Author's note: **So, hello all you lovely people! Here is the new chapter and I really hope you like it, I decided on having Susan's guardian angel to be a shape shifter but will predominantly be Aslan. I blame Reign for this and a few other things in this chapter, to be honest.

I've also added that every chapter begins with a quote from a song that inspired me for that chapter, so that explains the quotes from all the previous chapters and I'm making a playlist so you guys know the songs for each chapter.

And regards to me writing about Suzanna – sadly, I won't be since for me it would be too confusing to have to go backwards and forwards between the two of them. However, if people enjoy this after it's finished, I might write a sequel about Suzanna.

But I've had a brainwave – Susan wishes she was in Narnia therefore in real life; it would be as if she never existed so it would be possible for Peter and Suzanna to end up together if some of you so wish.

One other note; I'm really sorry this is so late. I was on holiday for two weeks for a long over-due break, so for that I'm really really really really really sorry.

Chapter song: Shatter Me by Lindsey Stirling feat. Lzzy Hale.

But without me blabbering on too long, enjoy the story.

* * *

"_Somebody shine a light_

_I'm frozen by the fear in me_

_Somebody make me feel alive_

_And shatter me"_

It had been seven hours since Susan had kissed Caspian – actually, make that seven hours, thirty-two minutes and forty-five seconds to be exact. Even after all that time, Susan's head was still in a haze and she could still feel his warm lips against hers.

The warm sun was just starting to dip beneath the horizon and darkness was starting to roll from the hills and into the kingdom, bringing a slight cold draft into the room that surrounded Susan with a blanket of ice.

Susan knew at some point or another she'd have to face Caspian and the entire court again for dinner, but she really didn't want to. All she really wanted was to figure out what was really going on here; had she fallen asleep? Or was there something even more messed up at work here?

Out of the silence in her room, a voice came out as a whisper beside the young woman. It was a voice she knew, but at the same time she couldn't pinpoint whose voice it belonged to – it almost seemed like déjà vu except it had never happened before, although that made no sense to her at all.

Susan sat up on her bed, glancing around her room to find the source of the voice but she found nothing, no matter how hard she looked or how slow she moved her eyes and head around the room. In the end, she shrugged it off as just a hallucination from tiredness.

"_Susan." _There it was again, and this time it couldn't be ignored or shrugged off as a hallucination.

This time, Susan crawled off her bed to do further investigations on what was really going on. When Susan's feet finally touched the cold stone floor, the voice had gotten louder. It was almost as if it was chorus of voices speaking at once, only Susan couldn't understand what they were saying.

Taking a deep breath, Susan walked slowly towards the screen on the left side of her room, placing her hand flat upon the delicate piece of fabric to look around the other side of it to properly prove to herself that all the voices were just proof that she was tired or just completely insane.

Just as Susan's line of sight was about to look around the other side of the screen, Susan felt a slight pressure upon her hand through the screen. Frowning slightly, Susan turned towards her hand before jumping back from the screen to see a silhouette of a hand pressed against the thin material exactly where hers once was.

"_You should be careful what you wish for, the world is not kind to girls who stay lost in their own world."_

As soon as the last word was spoken, Susan shook her head in disbelief. "W-who are you? What do you mean by 'the world is not kind to girls who stay lost in their own world'? Answer me, please!" But there was no reply; the being who had spoken to her had completely disappeared, vanished within the blink of an eye.

Gathering all her courage, Susan finally turned the corner of the screen; immediately finding no evidence that a person had been there not a few moments before hand. Susan frowned, leaning against the wall behind the screen as her mind raced over a million possibilities of what happened, how it happened and most importantly; why it happened.

After glaring at the floor for a few minutes, she noticed something that looked all too familiar to her; her copy of Land of Dusk. She could tell it was hers simply by the state of the cover and the fact that while most editions of the book had a black covering, while Susan's had a rare gold covering. She picked up her book, opening it up to a random page.

_It was completely, a hundred percent her book._

Quickly after opening it and holding it in her hands, Susan noticed that there was an envelope sticking out of one of the earlier pages, and she knew in her heart that she didn't put it there nor use it as a bookmark back home.

Gently placing her book down on her desk, she opened the envelope and took out the letter that had been written for her in delicate and flowing writing and took a deep breath before reading it aloud.

_Susan Pevensie,_

_As you may or may not have guessed, your wish has been granted. You are now living as Lady Suzanna in your favourite story. The only way you will ever be able to return back to your life is by wishing upon a star, but remember that once this is done; you will never be able to return to Narnia._

_But alas, you are not alone in this journey. I will be with you every step of the way but the only slight problem is that you will be the only one to see me and hear me so keep that in mind while we're talking._

_On a side note, whatever you do here may have a lasting impact in the story, so you must always be cautious of your actions, young one. _

_And remember; you must always be careful what you wish for._

_We will meet again soon, young queen._

_Aslan._

Susan dropped the letter as soon as she read the last word, almost unable to move or do anything. All she seemed to understand from the letter was that she had to choose between her fantasy life, the life she always wanted and dreamed of and the life she was born into, the life she never wanted but needed to survive from everything bad in her life.

_This was more than I bargained for, that's for sure._

* * *

**Authors note: **Sorry this is so short! I just wanted to get this out of the way and off my chest, but I really hope you guys like it!

See you all soon,

Lorna.


	4. I Should Be So Lucky

**Author's note: **So hello my lovelies, here I am with another chapter for all of you guys and I hope you like it so don't forget to leave a review if you loved it or hated it, I love hearing from you guys! This chapter will probably be the most boring out of all of them because I have to tackle the Susan/Suzanna side of the story.

I'm really sorry over how long it took me to write this, the chapter song changed three times while I was writing before I finally decided which song it should be. This song came on a CD my mum was playing in the car and then I thought how some of the lyrics fitted how Susan feels about Caspian and here we are.

I'm considering in opening a Suspian prompt account on Tumblr but I don't know if anyone would want me to so just tell me and I'll consider it!

I'm also considering in writing another Suspian au after I've finished this one; the idea is that Caspian and Susan are childhood friends but when they're sixteen, there's an accident and Susan is killed. Then ten years later, Caspian wakes up to find Susan with him and it turns out that her ghost will stay with him until he tells her everything that he never did. Just tell me if you like the idea and if I should write it or not.

Chapter song: I Should Be So Lucky - Kylie Minogue.

But without me blabbering on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_I'm dreaming_

_You fell in love with me_

_Like I'm in love with you_

_But dreaming's all I do_

_If only they'd come true"_

Susan sat on the left side of Caspian in the centre of the large and extravagant dining table, but all Susan could think about was what Aslan had written to her in the letter. Certain parts of the letter stuck inside her brain and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't understand them nor get them out of her mind.

Aslan calling Susan a queen, telling her that her actions may impact the story, the fact that she'd have to wait god knows how long to get back home… almost everything in the letter scared her a little and the small voice inside her head was constantly telling her that she needed to go home, back to her ordinary life in Finchley.

But she couldn't.

All she wanted was to know when she would be coming home and then she could maybe relax a little but until that date, she would be stuck in a place she would never fully understand. Sure – the books told her a few things but they didn't fully tell her what it would really be like if she actually lived there.

She couldn't eat; every time she brought something to her lips, her mind told her she couldn't eat it so she had to suffice with just looking at the platefuls of food that littered the table in front of her and drinking small and occasional sips of wine from her heavily engraved goblet beside her. Normally, Susan would eat almost as much as she possibly could but not this time – her thoughts on the letter disrupted all other thoughts about food, completely ignoring the loud sounds her stomach was making.

Taking a sharp inhale of breath, Susan quietly excused herself from the busy table to get a few moments of silence to herself so she could maybe wrap her head around what Aslan had meant in the note – everything just seemed too impossible to understand.

The only sound in the silent halls was of Susan's loud heeled shoes, racing down the hall as fast as her legs and shoes would carry her. She had no idea where she was going but all she knew was that she needed to get far away from people and perhaps humanity itself until she could figure out a way home and what exactly Aslan meant.

After what felt like an eternity of walking, Susan finally reached a balcony that overlooked the large courtyard she was in when she first met Caspian and Helena. The moon shone down on the world like a giant spotlight, making everything appear more mysterious and almost dream-like.

As Susan looked up at the sky; she noticed hundreds of stars, all the constellations were completely different from all the ones she knew back home in Finchley. There seemed to be far more stars in the Narnian sky than the skies back on Earth that was for sure.

Resting her elbows on the parapet of the balcony, Susan closed her eyes and hung her head as she tried to block out everything inside her head and try to completely focus on debunking Aslan's letter – it was a lot easier said than done, as Susan quickly found out.

After a few moments, Caspian came walking quietly behind Susan, a goblet of wine in each hand. "At dinner, you did not seem yourself, are you alright?" he asked, holding a goblet out towards her.

Susan looked up at him, taking the goblet from him as she stood up straighter. "I'm fine, thank you, I just… actually, there's something I need to tell you."

_Here we go._

"That you're not actually Suzanna?" Caspian's left eyebrow rose almost of its own accord as he took a sip of his wine, a small smile ghosting his lips and leaned his arm against the parapet beside Susan.

Susan almost dropped her goblet as her mouth flew wide open at Caspian. "H-how did you know?"

"I've known Suzanna almost my whole life; we know each other more that we know ourselves sometimes. The moment you kissed me I knew that you weren't her." Caspian placed his goblet down on the parapet beside his arm, his smile almost disappearing at the mention of Suzanna.

After what seemed like forever in Susan's mind, she finally spoke. "I'm sorry, my name's actually Susan. I came here by accident and now I have to wait for a shooting star to go back home, but I have no idea how long that'll take so I'm stuck here for the time being."

"Do you know what happened to Suzanna? Do you know where she is?" Caspian moved his head to the side to face Susan before taking a large gulp of wine.

Susan merely shook her head, her fingernails tapping on her goblet as she looked at Caspian before her. "I don't know I wish I did but I don't, I am so sorry, Caspian." Her voice came out as a whisper as her vision started to blur with unshed tears that started to form in her eyes.

"It's alright, Susan. There was nothing you could have done, Suzanna wanted to disappear herself. In fact she talked about it a lot, and now I guess her wish came true." Caspian's voice broke as the last word left his lips before he turned to Susan with the same teary eyes as her. "Excuse me."

And with that, Caspian walked back towards the dinner party and Susan was alone once more on the balcony with only her thoughts for company. That was when Susan caught her breath, and a tear slowly made its way down her cheek and landed in her half empty goblet of wine.

"This was my entire fault, if I hadn't wasted a wish on a stupid childish fantasy, Caspian would still have Suzanna and I could be home." Susan quietly sobbed to herself, feeling her legs give way and she crumpled to the floor and hid her face in her hands.

All Susan wanted to do was go home and forget about everything she had done to destroy Caspian's life and go back to merely daydreaming about him. But no, she had to wish upon a shooting star and her wish came true and now she was stuck here until there was another shooting star which probably won't happen soon enough.

She might be there for three months or even three years before she'd be allowed to go home, but she needed some other way to bring her back home – she needed to go home this instance but how? The only way to maybe get back home was Aslan and she had no idea where he was, he could have even left her by this point and not even bothered to tell her.

After a few minutes of crying on the floor, Susan finally stood up to wipe away her tears and make her way back to her room and ask Aslan a few questions about if there was another way she could get back home without having to wait until a falling star to wish upon it.

* * *

**Second author's note: **Man, this was such a pain in the ass to write. I was practically forcing myself to get on with it so I could get it over with and go to more interesting things but now that it's done, I can party with a nice hot chocolate and the box set of Scooby Doo.

If I don't update before Christmas (which will probably be a no), I hope you all have a lovely Christmas and an amazing New Year.

I love you all dearly; and I hope to see you all next time

Lorna.


	5. The Lion's Roar

**Author's note: **WELCOME TO 2015, AND LET'S HOPE THIS YEAR IS BETTER THAN LAST. What better way to celebrate the New Year than to give you all an update? (I know that it's now February but it's still a new year and the first update of 2015 so it still counts. Sort of.)

I'm sorry this took me so long to put up, procrastination's a real bitch sometimes and this is the worst chapter of them all – in my opinion. But I really hope you guys are still reading this story and are as excited as you were at the beginning, because there's gonna be plot twists in this chapter so keep an eye out. And I got a bit too carried away with this chapter, it does turn into a bit "what the hell just happened" thing going on but I kind of like it.

Chapter song: The Lion's Roar by First Aid Kit.

But without blabbering on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_And I'm a goddamn coward, but then again so are you_

_And the lion's roar, the lion's roar_

_Has me seeking out and searching for you_

_And I never really knew what to do"_

Susan was sat on the floor, leaning against the end of her bed while she glared at the screen before her. She'd been doing this for hours, just waiting for Aslan to make an appearance but he never came. She'd tried everything; leaving her book behind the screen, calling his name, even throwing small marbles towards the screen and asking questions to try to get a response but nothing seemed to work.

Taking a deep breath; she finally got up off the floor to sit on her bed, pulling out of all her elaborate hair pieces and jewellery and throwing them onto the stone floor, almost certain that all of them had been broken but she didn't care. Her mind was too busy trying to get Aslan to appear and help her, but he still never showed up.

She picked up her book that had been left on her dressing table, opening it a random page somewhere in the middle but found the page she had turned to blank. _What on earth? _It was the middle of the book and there was nothing on it, it was almost like it hadn't even happened yet.

Quickly, she turned back to the contents page. It only went up to chapter three – the rest of the page was blank, like all of the remaining chapters hadn't even existed. Chapter one; the wish, chapter two; realization and chapter three hadn't even had a title yet, it was just a blank space where the title name should be.

Turning to chapter three; starting to read it from the beginning, soon realising that everything in the chapter had just happened not twenty-four hours ago. Turning a few pages; she saw the words being written as she was reading them, something that would in reality be impossible.

A tear slowly made its way down her cheek, dropping the book on the floor as she heard a music box slowly start playing Swan Lake from behind her. Not turning around, she took a deep breath to try to hold back any further tears. "This isn't what I wanted; I want to go home, Aslan." She announced, trying to hide the fact that she had been crying while her voice shook with the fear that was burning within her heart.

"You were the one who wished upon a star, young one. You must now live with the consequences of your actions." Aslan's voice was deeper than she remembered; it reminded her of her father's. The way each word left his lips sounded exactly like he did, and that made Susan miss him even more. She would give anything to just be in his arms once more and have his shoulder to cry on, but like Aslan said, she asked for this to happen and now she has to live with it.

"But he hates me, Aslan. He really does. How am I supposed to wait until a shooting star to go home?" Her voice was shaking now. There was no denying or hiding the fact that she was and had been crying. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop. The tears refused to stop streaming down her cheeks and roll off her chin and onto the floor.

Susan's head jerked up as soon as she heard a scream coming from the hallway. She knew the scream all too well; it was Lucy's. Everything was on high alert, her sister was in trouble and it was up to her to help. She turned around to face Aslan but he wasn't there; in fact her whole room seemed to disappear around her and turn into a dense forest with thick, centuries old trees all around her – just like it had been there for centuries, and her room had never existed. A thick fog surrounded the forest; she could barely see three feet ahead of her or behind her. Anyone or anything could be behind her and she would have no idea they would be there.

She heard Lucy's scream once more, causing Susan to run in the direction of the sound. "Lucy! I'm coming!" she called out into the forest, pushing past branches and jumping over fallen trunks of trees. She had to find Lucy but every time she screamed; she seemed to be further away than last time, despite Susan's running.

Susan stopped running to catch her breath for a moment, but that's when the whispers started. It wasn't a quiet sound, it was like hundreds of voices were whispering around her all at once but there was nobody in sight. She was completely alone.

She couldn't understand what they were saying; they were all speaking too fast for anyone to understand anything. Everything inside of her was telling her to run for her life, but her feet refused to move. The voices seemed to be getting louder and more repetitive; Susan slowly started to understand what they were saying. Some were telling her to run, while others were telling her to wake up.

_Wake up? What on earth?_

Closing her eyes for a moment, she tried to force herself to wake up but nothing happened. She tried pinching herself but that didn't work either, everything she tried didn't work so she was stuck in a dreamlike state.

"Susan, wake up." One of the voices sounded like they were right in front of her, but when she opened her eyes there was nobody there and it was starting to scare her. But what scared her most was that the voice sounded exactly like her older brother Peter; despite the fact that she was alone and the only thing that was there was a tree.

"Susan," another voice whispered into her ear, this one sounded more like Edmund. But she knew there was nothing beside her. "The fog is coming, Susan. You have three days before everyone in the castle is dead."

That took her back; she had three days to save an entire castle from whatever force that was driving something bad without sounding like she's crazy. Frowning to herself, she turned around and her heart almost dropped out of her stomach when she heard a lion's growl. It was circling her, looking for her weakness before jumping out of the darkness of the shadows to land right in front of her.

She let out a loud scream just as the lion roared and pounced at her. Then everything went black. No voices, no lions, no nothing. Just darkness and silence surrounded her.

Susan woke up on the cold floor and completely drenched in sweat, the words from her dream still fresh inside her mind as she rushes out of her room and down the halls, she had to tell someone – _anyone _about the danger they were all in.

* * *

**Author's Note: **So after a million years, I updated. I hope you guys all enjoyed this chapter and don't forget to leave a review if you loved it or even hated it!

See you next time;

Lorna


	6. Bang Bang

**Author's Note: **Hello my lovelies! I'm sorry this chapter wasn't updated when I planned it to be – it took longer than usual and for that I apologize. I'm trying to aim for a chapter a month sort of thing but this one took longer dude to writers block and that I took a holiday and didn't take my laptop with me – yeah, I'm a bit of an idiot when these things come around. But I hope you enjoy this chapter and keep your lovely reviews coming!

And I'm so sorry this chapter is shorter than usual – I really wanted to just get another chapter out so I didn't leave you guys alone in this and thinking that I abandoned the story – which is completely untrue.

Chapter song: Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) [Cher cover] by Nancy Sinatra.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

"_Bang bang, he shot me down_

_Bang bang, I hit the ground_

_Bang bang, that awful sound_

_Bang bang, my baby shot me down."_

* * *

Susan was fully aware of the stares she was given as she arrived in the grand ballroom, but she ignored them and tried to look for Caspian amongst the sea of people. Somewhere along the way to the ballroom, the end of Susan's trail on her dress had been caught in a door and ripped off since Susan had refused to stop to get it out properly. Her hair was stuck to her face in some places while in other places her curls were spiked up as if her whole head had been electrocuted then dragged through a hedge backwards.

Faces of noblemen and duchesses surrounded her as she tried to push her way through the groups to get to Caspian; she _needed_ to get to Caspian as soon as possible. She felt as if her feet weren't moving fast enough, she needed to go faster but it wasn't happening. It was like she was stuck in a dream – one where you couldn't run at all or you couldn't run fast enough.

After what seemed like forever, Susan's eyes finally fell upon Caspian's face. Her fast beating heart seemed to skip a beat as she slowly walked over towards him, her mind going over various ways to tell him what was going to happen. She couldn't just come right out and say; "I hope you're enjoying yourself this fine evening and you're alright, oh and just as a heads up; in three days we're all going to die. Like I said, I hope you enjoy your evening and if you'll excuse me, I'm going to run like hell for the hills." Everyone would think she was crazy – even though Susan was sure they already thought that irregardless of what she'd say or do.

Clearing her throat, she slipped through a small gap between a lord to get to Caspian, trying to make it look as normal as possible – but failing. It looked more like she was trying to get into a hole much too small for a woman of her height to get into and thus, Susan tripped on both the train of her dress and one of the boots belonging to a nobleman.

Thankfully for her, Caspian held her arms to stop her fall. As soon as Susan moved her gaze upwards to face Caspian, her cheeks turned darker than a blushing beetroot. After a few moments of just staring at Caspian's face, the power of speech finally returned to her, "May I speak with you in private? It's very important."

Caspian simply nodded in Susan's direction before addressing the noblemen that surrounded them, "leave us, gentlemen." The noblemen each took a slight bow and disappeared into the crowd, leaving Susan and Caspian alone to talk. "What did you need to tell me so urgently, my lady?"

Susan's mouth went dry, trying to think of the kindest way to tell Caspian about the danger they were all in but nothing came to mind. It seemed that she'd have to tell him exactly how it was. "In three days, everyone in this castle will be dead."

Caspian couldn't say anything for a few seconds after Susan had told him – a part of his brain told him that it couldn't be possible, Susan must be pulling some form of joke on him but the way Susan looked, he knew that someone telling a joke wouldn't have gone through all this trouble just to trick others into believing the impossible. "Susan, this is ridiculous. No army could wipe out Cair Paravel in that short space of time and not expect to be attacked."

Susan shook her head, her hand grabbing Caspian's, feeling the panic growing once more. "No, Caspian. You don't understand. There is something in the woods, Caspian. And it's coming and it's going to kill us. Everyone in the castle will be dead within a week if we don't do something now." Tears slowly started to fall down her cheeks as she tried to make Caspian listen to her. "You have to get everyone out of here, please! I'm not making this up! You have to believe me!"

But it was to be in vain, Caspian released her hand to walk away from her – shaking his head as he walked away. Susan was frozen, her heart beating faster than a hummingbird's wings as she watched Caspian walk over towards a small group of important looking people.

Susan wanted to scream, to make Caspian understand the danger they were all in but it was useless. They'd call her insane then she'd be disgraced in front of the entire court – not something she wanted to happen. Rolling her eyes to herself, she stormed out of the hall, towards her chambers to change out of the ruined dress she was in and into something more suitable for walking around.

After changing into loose fitting clothing – she guessed were riding attire but Susan was far too angry to even care – along with leather boots, she stormed out of the castle and into the woods that surrounded the castle. She wasn't running away, she just needed to get away from the castle for a while.

Fifteen minutes later, Susan's anger had gone and she was completely lost. But she recognized the trees – they were the same ones she saw in her dream. The fog was slowly settling in but she felt as though something was wrong and that she was being watched but she looked in all directions and there was absolutely nobody around her.

Then out of nowhere, she heard the lion's roar that came from in front of her. Screaming at the top of her lungs, Susan turned around to run in the opposite direction, away from the lion but something stopped her dead in her tracks. Another roar but this time, it was coming from in front of her. She was surrounded with no way of escape.

Just as she thought all hope was lost, a voice she knew spoke her name. It was Aslan's.

"Please don't tell me you're the lion," she almost sighed, leaning against a tree as she caught her breath.

"I can transform into any person or anything you require me to be." Aslan replied simply, stepping out of the fog towards her, transforming into a perfect copy of Susan.

Susan's eyes almost popped out of her skull, Aslan had well and truly turned into Susan. "Okay, but could you change into someone who isn't me? It's creeping me out."

Nodding, Aslan turned into Peter within a blink of an eye. "Is this any better, young one?"

"Much. But I need your help; Caspian didn't believe me once I told him about my dream. Please, I need you to tell him that it's real." She begged, taking Aslan's hands as tightly as she could as she forced back her tears.

Aslan sighed, pressing a gentle kiss to Susan's forehead. "Soon enough, he will see that you were right. We just need to wait – and to keep our eyes open. The fog that surrounds us will fall upon the kingdom, and will bring the kingdom into an eternal dusk. But you have to make him see that you will be able to put a stop to it. And only you can do that, Susan; it's all up to you."


	7. Stripped

**Author's Note: **Ello, loves! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and I'm sorry it took me so long to get it up – hopefully, it was worth the wait. And I promise this will be the last chapter without a cover song as the chapter song for a while – honestly, I didn't really think this thing through. Totally not my fault… okay, it totally was but still. I'm a fangirl, I can't help it. I'm a very busy person; although The Sisterhood of Night has been taking up about 75% of my time and the other 25% has been spent eating and sleeping so I'm a very busy fangirl as you can see.

**Chapter song:** Stripped (Depeche Mode cover) by Shiny Toy Guns.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_Come with me_

_Into the trees_

_We'll lay on the grass_

_And let the hours pass_

_Take my hand_

_Come back to the land_

_Let's get away_

_Just for one day"_

Susan's eyes were closed as she leaned her head back to relax in the sun, taking in the heat. The weather in Narnia was warmer than England, and Susan took full advantage of that, it was a shame she didn't have her sunglasses or another book to read since she couldn't read Land of Dusk where anyone could be watching her and know how the story ends – she'd read all the science fiction novels, she knew how doomed they'd all be if they knew that they lived inside a book and knew how the story would end.

By now, the mist would settle in in two days' time and Susan was no closer to making Caspian see the true horror that was about to fall upon his kingdom. She'd tried everything she could think of but nothing seemed to be working. If Caspian could see Aslan or even hear him speak, maybe that would make him see the danger everyone was in.

Slowly but surely, Susan became used to her life in Narnia but she knew she couldn't get too attached; it would only make going back to her normal life in Finchley a lot harder to deal with. Although, she felt more at home in Narnia, as if she had lived there her whole life rather than appearing inside it a few days beforehand.

While Susan wasn't trying new ways to convince Caspian that everyone in the castle could be dead by next week, she spent her time in one of the many extravagant castle gardens. There, she could think about everything that had happened to her in peace and quiet and she wouldn't have to worry about anybody disturbing her.

Currently, she was in her favourite garden she had found. It was a mini maze of sweet smelling flowers and beautiful ponds, with a bench in the middle that was covered in petals that had been painted on by very careful and precise hands. But the best part of the garden was that it leads directly to the woods that surrounded the castle and the gardens. Susan could easily walk into the woods and be back before anyone would notice she had gone.

The woods became her saving grace, the one place where she didn't need to speak in a whisper to talk to Aslan and she didn't need to worry about anyone listening to her conversations with him – the one place she didn't need to hide away from what she knew for the Narnians protection.

Taking a deep breath, Susan opened her eyes and walked carefully through the maze of flowers and ponds towards the edge of the maze and into the thick woods to have one last talk with Aslan to try to convince him to tell Caspian since Caspian won't listen to her anymore.

As soon as Susan came into the woods, she felt a lot colder and it became darker due to the thickness of the trees and the leaves around her. Releasing a long held breath to reassure herself, she carried on into the woods; just to make sure she was out of earshot of the castle so nobody would hear her talks with Aslan about the danger every single person in Narnia was in.

Once she was sure she was a safe distance away from the castle, she licked her lips to call out to Aslan. "Aslan, are you here? I need to speak with you, it's urgent." She called out into the emptiness, praying that he was there so she could have a chance to talk to him.

A cold breeze blew through the trees, blowing Susan's hair all around her with only one clear thought inside her head. _He's here._ Smiling to herself, she took a seat down on a large tree stump to wait for Aslan to show himself to her so they could start their conversation.

She felt a presence beside her and a hand on her shoulder. Turning to face the person beside her, Susan sighed to herself. Of course it was Aslan, however he was in the form of her bother again, like she had asked and had grown comfortable with over time. "I did everything you said and told him about what you've told me but he still won't listen. I don't understand."

Aslan's eyes met hers, the light almost dancing inside his sky blue eyes. "Sometimes, the truth is thrust upon us and we do not want to admit defeat and acceptance until the truth is proved to them, we then admit our mistakes. It is an important part of being human, young one."

Susan frowned, licking her lips as she shook her head. "Does that mean people have to die in order for Caspian to see the danger?"

Aslan didn't say anything for a long time, his gaze moving away from Susan to look at the trees that stood before them. "We may never know, but if Caspian stays with this state of mind; yes, people will die."

Susan couldn't even ask Aslan more questions before she heard a stick crack from behind her, her body turning around as soon as she heard the sound. "Caspian," she whispered as her body relaxed once she realized it wasn't someone who would cause her harm. "What are you doing here? How did you even _get_ here?" She demanded, standing up from the tree stump with her hands on her hips.

"I was about to ask you the same thing." Caspian replied in a heartbeat, taking a step towards her, his eyebrow slowly rising. "Why are you out in the woods talking to yourself, Susan? The woods aren't a safe place for the unprotected."

Susan frowned, licking her lips as she took a step towards Caspian, their bodies inches apart by this point. "I was not talking to myself; I was talking to a friend, someone who might actually save our lives. You know, the friend I've been telling you about for the past few days." She was getting angry by this point, ready to start a fight her brothers tried so hard to protect her from. But sooner or later, she knew that she'd crack and someone was going to get hurt when she did – it was just inevitable.

Shaking his head, Caspian moved away from Susan to lean against a tree, the anger inside him reaching boiling point. "When will you get it into your mind; there is no mist or monsters or even lions! Narnia hasn't seen a wild lion in over three hundred years, they're extinct, Susan."

Before Susan had a chance to answer, a lion's roar echoed through the woods, stopping both of them in their tracks. "So much for being extinct, Caspian." Susan muttered to herself as she took a step towards the sound of the roar. "You heard that too, right?" She whispered, a hand resting upon a tree branch as she looked through the woods to find the supposed lion.

Caspian simply nodded his head, taking a slow step towards Susan as he placed his hand on his sword; all trace of anger was completely gone – he was now in protection mode; all his senses on overdrive to try to find the lion.

The forest was quiet now. Too quiet, even. The wind stopped blowing through the trees, the animals and bugs had gone silent and everything just stopped. The only sounds were their thundering heartbeats and the sound of their heavy breathing.

Slowly, Susan backed away from the tree and towards Caspian who held her arm as tightly as he could. None of them dared to move or say anything, out of fear of attracting a dangerous predator. After what felt like an eternity, the only thing the pair saw was the fog slowly and unnaturally roll its way towards them.


	8. Come Away to The Water

**Author's note: **Ello lovelies! Sorry for leaving you on a cliff-hanger but you know me, I am evil. Anywho, I hope you enjoy this chapter and don't forget to leave a review and whatnot. But I just want to say quickly that pretty much from this chapter onwards, this story is going to get dark. Like Texas Chainsaw Massacre meets Outlast dark I know I might lose some readers because of this so I apologise for that in advance. So, I'm warning you all now that it's not going to be all sunshine and rainbows like the previous chapters – shit is about to seriously hit the fan.

I blame my love for horror movies on this so I completely understand if you guys don't want to read about horror related stuff – it's not for everyone and that's completely fine.

And I'm sorry this chapter is shorter than usual – I really wanted to get another chapter out there since I did feel kind of bad for leaving you all on a cliff-hanger for more than a month.

**Chapter song: **Come Away to the Water by Maroon 5 Feat. Rozzi Crane.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_Come away little lamb _

_Come away to the water_

_To the arms that are waiting only for you_

_Come away little lamb_

_Come away to the slaughter_

_To the one appointed to see this through _

_We are calling for you_

_We are coming for you"_

Susan couldn't move as she watched the fog roll in, her grip on Caspian growing tighter as every moment passed. She didn't know if she should run or stay where she was. Her brain was going into fight or flight mode and she chose flight within a heartbeat, she turned away from the fog and ran as fast as her legs would carry her out of the forest. Somewhere along the way, Susan could feel that her hand was no longer holding onto Caspian's but she didn't dare look back or even stop to look for him out of fear the fog would do something.

Tears stained her cheeks as she continued to run, ignoring the pieces of her dress being ripped off, her skin getting covered in dirt and getting small cuts and bruises as she went and pieces of her hair being pulled from her scalp as she kept running, never stopping to untangle them from branches where they were tangled.

She only looked back once to see the fog right behind her, just as she turned around to continue running, her foot got stuck underneath a root of a tree and she fell onto her stomach. She looked up at the fog again and let out the loudest scream she could muster as the fog surrounded her. She closed her eyes and waited for the end to come; saying her silent goodbyes to her friends and family only the end never came.

Slowly, she opened one eye and she saw that nothing changed. The fog was around her but she was completely fine – well, as fine as she could be in that moment. Grabbing onto a tree trunk, she pulled herself up to look around her and try to see if she could find Caspian. But that turned out to be easier said than done, she couldn't see three inches ahead of her in any direction, it was all covered with thick fog that made Susan feel more alone than ever.

Taking a deep breath, she placed her arms in front of her so she had some vague idea what was ahead of her as she walked. The only sounds she heard were her heavy breathing, her footsteps and her rapidly beating heart. Nothing else made a sound.

The fog grew thinner as she walked; her arms still out stretched in case she found Caspian once more but nobody was around. She was well and truly alone and completely lost in the thickest fog known to mankind. She realized how daft she must look to anyone with a third person prospective – a grown woman, arms out as far as she could reach, taking half an inch steps and moving at the speed of a snail dying of old age – not exactly her most dignified moment but it wasn't the time to be Lara Croft.

She arrived at a small lake, stopping just as her feet reached the water. Something was wrong, she could tell but she didn't know what. Something inside her head was telling her to run but she didn't know what to do.

Instead of running, Susan just stared at the water that reflected the light grey colour of the fog that surrounded her, instead of the usual and comforting blue she had become accustomed to in both Narnia and her home in England. She took a deep breath as she placed her arms back down to her sides, knowing that she wouldn't need to use her arms as her second pair of eyes for a while. But she could still sense that something was wrong, and that was when she really paid attention to the water.

The water had turned red within the blink of an eye – that was when Susan saw the body of a servant. The servant's blonde hair was stained with blood, water and mud, but her piecing blue eyes made Susan fight back the feeling of light-headedness – they were wide open and looked like she was as afraid as Susan when she died.

Susan slowly walked towards the body to close her eyelids and give her peace when the girl sat up, taking in a deep breath. Her eyes locked onto Susan, blood slowly trailing down from her eyes like tears that stained her pale face into a dark red.

Keeping her eyes on Susan, the girl walked forward – but it almost seemed as if she was mechanical and someone had to move her, like a puppet. Almost as soon as she started walking, she stopped and let out the loudest and most bloodcurdling scream Susan had ever heard, chilling her right down to the bone.

The screaming stopped after what felt like forever and the girl grabbed Susan's arms, so hard Susan was sure there'd be bruises afterwards. The girl brought her lips to Susan's ear to whisper to her, her cold breath on Susan's skin made a shiver run down her spine. "We are coming for all of you, and we will take you, one by one, until none of you are left alive," before promptly collapsing by Susan's feet.

That was when Susan screamed and she refused to stop until no more screams came out of her mouth.


	9. Chimes at Midnight

**Author's note: **Hello loves! This chapter is a little bit like the calm before the storm but it's still pretty creepy, in my opinion. Sorry for the delay, I was working on a one-shot about Peter along with various other one-shots and that's taken up a lot of my time but please don't think I'm abandoning you guys! I promise I'm not. But not that I've finished a few of my other one-shots, I'm back to writing this story! Serious butterfly effect going on in this chapter, guys. Meaning that every choice the character's make, will affect the outcome of the story and what happens. Blame Until Dawn for that.

And I don't know if I should write shorter chapters but update more often or write longer chapters but update every once in a while; so if you guys could tell me which one you'd prefer, it would help me out a great deal.

**Chapter song:** Chimes at Midnight by In The Groove.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_Chimes at midnight_

_Will you come and play?_

_You can hide but_

_If you run away_

_I will find you_

_I'll come and find you"_

Tears were streaming down Susan's face as she remained at the lake, finally admitting defeat and accepting that she could die there. That was just how it was going to be, there was no getting around it. If she had known that she would end up like this, she would never have wished to be in her favourite book.

She felt someone's arms around her shoulders but before she could scream, she heard a comforting voice. Caspian's. "It's just me, don't scream. It's just me. You're okay." She calmed down a little once she heard his voice but not much, she was still panicking inside her mind. She was in fight or flight mode, the words from the servant still burning inside her mind.

The adrenaline was racing through her body at lightning speed and she tried her hardest to calm herself down but nothing was working. Even with Caspian's words of telling her that everything was okay. No, nothing was okay. Nothing would ever be okay until he believed her and they got away from the castle and to safety. But that would have to take more than fog and dead people telling her things were wrong to make Caspian believe. If Susan knew that she would end up in this position when she made her wish, she would've asked for a different one; maybe to meet her favourite author or to go to another country for a few weeks. But now she believed that saying of "you must always be careful what you wish for".

Caspian had to force Susan to stand and walk her back to the castle since she refused to move on her own and was still talking about the fog and how it was deadly and how she needed to save the world or something. In all honesty, Caspian stopped listening to her very quickly and instead focused upon getting her back to the castle and into her room so she could rest and get the twigs and mud off her body and out of her hair.

The only thing Caspian couldn't explain was the blood stains on Susan's cheeks and her clothes, since Susan showed no signs of physical injury. There were no visible cuts on her arms or legs – so the blood couldn't have come from her but when Caspian found Susan, there was nobody around. She was completely alone which made things a lot more worrying. He guessed this wasn't a story she told him just to wind him up anymore – now she had some physical proof that a part of her story wasn't just something she had made up inside her head to get on his nerves.

Once they arrived back at the castle, Caspian quickly got many servants to escort Susan to her chambers and to look after her and to make sure she wasn't in any physical pain and to give her some proper care. He didn't want to ask Susan about what she had seen or what she knew, he figured it would be too hard for her to tell him and he would ask her at a later time after she got some rest and was in a proper state to tell him everything that was going on and would actually happen to them.

**~#~**

Susan hadn't stopped shaking since she had come back to the castle, and that was almost two hours ago. She was sure that what had happened would surely convince Caspian to listen to her and get everyone out of the castle so they'd all be safe but it didn't. She thought that he would still think she was crazy and wouldn't even bother listening to her talk about the servant, the lake and all the danger they were in.

She stood out on her balcony, gazing up at the moon as she heard the chiming of the bell to signal midnight. Normally, she would be asleep by that point but after everything that had happened, she was far too afraid to sleep. Every moment meant it was a moment closer until everyone in the castle was slaughtered and then she would have messed everything up.

Every time closed her eyes, she saw the haunting images of the servant telling her of what was about to unfold and her blood curdling scream inside her head. Everything that had happened replayed inside her mind like a horror film she couldn't pause or turn off, pure hell to her and her mind. Everything was going wrong inside her head and she just needed something or someone to make it stop and make her feel like she was going to be okay or she could take back her wish and go back home to Finchley to make this nightmare end.

She felt the comforting presence of Aslan beside her, calming her down slightly but not much. "What happens if everyone dies – or I die here?" She didn't look at him, her grip tightening on the thick woven blanket that was draped around her shoulders to keep her warm.

Aslan took a long time to answer, not because he didn't know the answer more because he didn't want to alarm Susan with the answer and he needed to find the way to say it without making the young woman panic once more. "If you die here, you die. There is no way out of this, unless you change Caspian's mind. The path you have gone down will lead to this world's destruction. If you do not change something, everyone will die."


	10. How

**Author's note: **Hello loves, I'm back with a new chapter and I hope you like it as much as the previous chapters. And at long last; SUZANNA IS IN THIS CHAPTER FOR REAL AND NOT JUST MENTIONED. I decided to bring Suzanna into this chapter because I've noticed a few people requesting her to be in the story more so here she is. But you guys get to choose if she becomes one of the main characters or keep her as a minor character – it's all up to you.

And I'm sorry this is so short, I wanted to get another chapter out as soon as I could without leaving you guys on a cliffhanger for too long.

**Chapter song: **How by The Neighbourhood.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_They say the end is coming sooner_

_But the end's already here_

_I said today is but a rumor_

_That we'll laugh at in a year_

_Or two, or three, or four, or five, whatever_

_If you're gone, then I need you_

_If you're gone, then how is any of this real?_

_When I'm on, I believe you_

_When I'm not, my knees don't even seem to feel"_

After what had happened with Aslan the previous night, Susan was still on high alert and stuck in her fight or flight mode. She sat at the breakfast table but ate nothing, and instead stared at the stone wall that faced her. She'd barely slept; the fear of what was coming kept her awake. Her eyes were glued to the ceiling, trying to distract herself from sleeping.

Dark circles were under her eyes and she found everyday things almost impossible to do, she needed sleep but she was afraid that if she slept, the fog or whatever horrifying monster that hid within it would kill her in her sleep. All those thoughts were driving her to the point of insanity, and she couldn't do anything about it. If she told someone, they would think she was crazy but if she didn't, it was only going to get worse. She was in a lose/lose situation.

Quietly excusing herself from the table, Susan slowly made her way back into her chambers, forcing herself to keep her eyes open as she made her way up the flights of stairs. Once she arrived in her chambers, she almost ripped off her dark green dress, throwing it on the floor before she collapsed back into bed. She kicked off her shoes before she placed the covers over her and finally allowed herself to sleep.

She awoke several hours later feeling somewhat refreshed but wished for more sleep, something that probably wouldn't come for days to come. She dreamed of nothing, and that was probably for the best. Even the thought of what could be happening with the fog terrified her, so a dream about it would probably lead to a mental breakdown.

Sitting up, Susan wiped the sleep out of her eyes before sliding out of bed. The sun was high in the skies, indicating that it was mid-afternoon. Just as Susan had placed her dress back on, she heard a small tapping sound. Frowning, she opened the door and nobody was there. Closing the door, the tapping continued. After opening the door several times, Susan gave up the tapping was coming from the door.

Moving around her room, she heard the tapping noise coming louder once she reached her mirror. She turned to face it, revealing a girl who looked identical to her – the only difference was the girl in the mirror had slightly shorter hair. And of course, their clothes were different. While Susan's was the dark green ball dress, the girl's was a simple white t-shirt and black skirt. They were almost exactly alike. Then it dawned on her.

The girl on the other side was Suzanna, the girl everyone knew in this world and the girl from Susan's book. She placed a hand on the looking glass, the girl in the mirror doing the same. "Are you Suzanna?" Susan whispered, her hand still pressed against the glass.

The girl nodded, her eyes locked onto Susan's face. "You must be Susan… Aslan has mentioned you a lot." Suzanna turned around for a moment, checking if someone was behind her or looking in on their conversation before turning back towards Susan.

"You've seen Aslan?" Susan's eyebrow rose, keeping the palm of her hand firmly placed on the mirror.

Suzanna nodded her head, licking her lips. "Yes, he's been helping me settle in here. Although, I miss Narnia and Caspian. How is he? Please tell me he's okay."

Susan took a long time to answer the question, trying to find the right words to tell her what had happened. "He's fine… he misses you, too."

"Uh-oh. I don't like the sound of 'he's fine'. What happened?"

Susan sighed, taking a moment to think of her answer before she replied. "I kind of told him that I wasn't you and I think I broke his heart in the process."

Suzanna's eyebrows raised slowly before fusing together. "Well, he has been kind of in love with me since we were children so I guess it's understandable. But listen, I have to go. Maybe I'll see you soon, Susan. Please stay safe." And with that, Suzanna faded and Susan was alone once more.

Slowly, Susan removed her hand from the mirror, exhaling loudly. Stepping back out onto her balcony, Susan stared out onto the horizon, her mind going over everything that had happened within the short space of time. She'd had an actual conversation with a fictional character that looked exactly like her… and she surprisingly wasn't that bothered by it.

If you had told Susan three weeks ago that she'd be in Narnia, kissed Caspian and spoken with Suzanna; then she would've called you completely insane and given you the number of a rather good therapist and gone off laughing with her friends.

But yet, there she was. In every book lover's dream come true; only now it turned into her worst nightmare, a nightmare she couldn't wake up from. Now she understood why people did stupid things in horror films, they were just as scared as she was and one does tend do to stupid and irrational things when one is scared for their life.

* * *

**Second Author's Note: **Once again, I'm soooo sorry this is so short. I'm not proud of this but I suppose it's better than nothing. But keep those reviews coming, they're my motivation!

Anywho, see you all later!

Lorna (SuspianFeels)


	11. Everybody Wants to Rule the World

**Author's Note: **I is back with a new chapter; yay me! And back with the chapter song being a cover, whoops. But now we get more into horror filled chapters – enjoy the gore and horror! And another short chapter here, folks. But hey, it's better than nothing. If I don't update before Christmas; Happy Christmas and have a wonderful new year, here's to 2016 – and let's hope it's better than 2015 by a long shot.

**Chapter song: **Everybody Wants to Rule the World (Tears for Fears cover) by Lorde.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_There's a room where the light won't find you_

_Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down_

_When they do I'll be right behind you_

_So glad we've almost made it_

_So sad they had to fade it_

_Everybody wants to rule the world"_

Time was up. The fog was due to arrive that day and Susan couldn't sit still for a moment while she watched the windows for any signs of the fog but nothing came. There were no signs of fog that day; it was clear skies and warm – the perfect day to spend outside. Only Susan refused to take a step outside, even if it was to her balcony.

She dressed in a simple light blue dress and placed a small crown of dark blue flowers in her hair, something simple but easy to move around in and run around in when the fog came – which she still didn't know the exact time it would come. All she knew what that it was today.

Walking through the halls, Susan stared blankly ahead of her, her mind completely consumed by the thought of the fog. Nothing seemed to matter, all that mattered was trying to get out of the castle and try to convince Caspian to come with her – pretty much exactly what she'd been doing ever since she had arrived all those weeks ago.

Despite her thoughts on the fog, the day seemed to fly by her and before she knew it, she was attending some gathering arranged by Caspian and was pretty much forced to go. She had changed out of her blue dress and forced into a tight fitting black dress that barely allowed her to breathe and more her arms. Something Susan loathed and had asked multiple times if she could take it off just to give her some more air and give her back her ability to move her arms, head and legs freely – a request that was denied every single time she had asked.

Drinking a small goblet of wine, Susan kept her eyes glued to the windows, simply waiting for the fog to come in. she gripped her goblet tighter and tighter until it fell out of her grip and smashed on the ground, igniting the entire court to burst into laughter. Susan's cheeks flushed as she hid her face and walked over towards Caspian, giving him a light smile. The laughter died down a few moments later; making Susan's cheeks slowly grew back to their normal rosy colour.

The castle was silent and motionless as the fog rolled in – everyone unsure of how to react. The silence was broken by a woman's scream and the sound of bare feet running across the marble floors. The heavy ballroom doors opened to reveal a blood covered and deranged Helena who ran up to Susan and Caspian, grabbing onto Susan's wrist with an iron grip. A grip so tight, Susan knew it would leave a mark for days or possibly weeks to come.

Breathless, Helena's whispers were barely audible. "Get out of the castle. Right now – it's here and it's coming," was all she could say before something grabbed her ankle, pulling her down to the floor before dragging her out of the door, the door slamming shut after her. All everyone heard were her spine-chilling screams and then they stopped almost as soon as they had started.

Susan gave Caspian a quick glance before slowly following the trail of blood Helena left behind to open the door a fraction of an inch – just to see what was out there. All she saw was a blood covered hand, part of an eye and a trail of blood. Screaming at the top of her lungs, Susan closed the door and leaned against the closed door. Aslan hadn't warned her that the fog would be_ this_ violent.

Her hands were shaking as she returned back towards Caspian; her face pale and looked as if she was about to collapse. "I warned you about this, Caspian. I knew this would happen and you didn't believe me. Do you believe me now?" She hissed as soon as she had returned to Caspian, her hands clenched into a fist.

Despite wanting to throw up and pass out at the same time, Susan needed to know if she'd proved to him that the fog was as dangerous as Aslan had predicted. All she needed to do next was defeat the monsters in the fog and try to find a way back home – even though she never wanted to return home. Narnia was her home now, and it was something she had forced inside her brain and convinced herself into thinking that England was some kind of dream. However, trying to forget a place she had lived in for her whole seventeen years in the universe was easier said than done and she still had the thoughts that England was her home and it was Narnia that was a dream and she needed to wake up from it.

But she couldn't wake up for this was not a dream – this was happening right in front of her eyes and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

Caspian could only nod; the power of speech had completely gone from him. Now he understood why Susan had been so frantic and persistent to tell him about the dangers of the fog – but he understood too late and god knows how many of his people had suffered the same fate as Helena. Almost ripped apart and eaten alive by some kind of monster; and it obviously wouldn't stop until he killed the monster or the monster killed him.

In that moment, he decided to kill the monster himself and make sure his people were safe from any kind of harm that would fall upon them.


	12. Decode

**Author's note: **It's all getting so dramatic! Everything's happening – FINALLY! And as usual, I'm sorry this is way overdue. Me – being me – have started a new fanfic and that's sort of taken over. It's called Afterlife and I'd really appreciate it if you read it and told me if you liked it or loathed it! But going back to this story; FIRST UPDATE FOR THIS STORY OF 2016. THIS IS SO EXCITING. This was such a bitch to write but I hope the wait was worth it!

**Chapter song:** Decode by Paramore.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_The truth is hiding in your eyes_

_And it's hanging on your tongue_

_Just boiling in my blood_

_But you think that I can't see_

_What kind of man that you are_

_If you're a man at all_

_Well, I will figure this one out_

_On my own"_

Several hours after the first wave of the fog hit; Susan, Caspian and various other members of the high court were in the king's study, debating what they should do next. They were given a list of guessed victims – 13 in total; Helena, the king and his wife were included. It seemed that Caspian and Susan were on their own now – nobody was going to come in and save them from the fog, they had to do it themselves.

Susan wrapped her arms securely around herself, giving slight glances to Caspian once she looked away from the large map spread across the table with the lands of Narnia, Archenland, Calormen, Telmar, Ettinsmoor and the Wild Lands of the North. Many of the members of court were telling Caspian to lead an army into battle against the fog while another group lead civilians into the mountains and into Narnia's greatest ally – Archenland.

Caspian shook his head, taking his place beside Susan. "It's too risky; more people could die from travelling to Archenland alone – it's a dangerous road even without the threat of this fog."

Susan nodded her head, placing the palms of her hands on the table. "I agree with Caspian with the danger to going to Archenland, but we can't just let all those people die here. I just wish there was another way. It seems there's only one thing to do; die here, or die there."

After Susan had spoken, the room fell silent and she quietly excused herself from the room. She felt like she was on a verge of a panic attack, the images of what happened to Helena still fresh in her mind. Almost sprinting to her room, she locked the door once she reached it and almost ripped her dress from her body, letting out a scream of anger before she sat on the floor with her head in her hands.

It wasn't until almost an hour later that Susan finally stood up and draped a thick blanket over her shoulders before pacing around her room, her fingers tracing over her necklace as her eyes focused on the floor. She didn't quite know what to do with herself in that moment – her mind was in a blur over the events over the past few hours, it made yesterday seem like a lifetime away.

With a sudden idea, she marched towards her mirror, knocking on the glass a few times before Suzanna's face appeared in the glass. But before she even had a chance to question why she was summoned, Susan started speaking with no hesitation. "The fog has arrived, it took Helena. This wasn't in the book, I don't understand. The fog wasn't supposed to kill people; it didn't say it in the book.

Suzanna took a long time to answer, thinking things over in her head before replying with a calm voice. "The book is useless now, Susan. You coming to Narnia has set off a new turn of events – it's all part of the butterfly effect. We really are on our own now, I'm sorry."

Susan's eyebrows fused together in confusion, her arms folding tightly over her chest. "I don't understand; I did everything like you did in the book."

"You must have done something differently, think, Susan. There has to be something I never did in the books but you did and it's set off a new turn of events."

Susan's heart almost fell out of her chest; the realization of what she had done suddenly hitting her. It was _**her**_ fault the fog was so violent, it wasn't Aslan's – it was hers. She brought on Helena's death and would kill maybe hundreds more because of her selfish and foolish nature. "I kissed Caspian, and I saw that maid in the woods. That has to be it."

"You must find a way to fight this, sister. Time is running out for you, you must make sure Caspian takes an army to fight against Jadis in Ettinsmoor – then maybe you could get things back to how they were in the books. I will be waiting for your answers," and with that, Suzanna disappeared and Susan was alone once more.

* * *

**Second author's note: **I'm so sorry this is so short! Serious writers block here but I have updated and it's getting more and more dramatic as the chapters go on! Hopefully, some of you have stuck around for this long so brownie points to you guys who have been here since the start!

Until next time;

Lorna – SuspianFeels


	13. Save the Hero

**Author's note:** Hello loves! I'm back with a new chapter and I hope you guys enjoy this one. This will be a quick chapter much like the next one just so we can get to the action and the more interesting parts faster – just be patient! The action is coming! I'll probably post both of these short chapters in one go so it'll be quicker to get to the action.

**Chapter song: **Save The Hero by Beyoncé.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_I lay alone awake at night_

_Sorrow fills my eyes_

_But I'm not strong enough to cry_

_Despite of my disguise_

_I'm left with no shoulder_

_But everybody wants to lean on me._

_I guess I'm their soldier._

_Well, who's gonna be mine?"_

Once Suzanna went away, Susan chocked back a sob as she crumbled to her knees and eventually the floor, her knees folding into her chest and her arms wrapping around her legs. She felt like it was _**her**_ fault the fog had come and killed all those innocent people, and she could have done something but she didn't do anything and those people died simply because of her selfishness.

Susan gently hit herself to stop herself from crying but that only made more tears come into her eyes and fall down her cheeks, even looking at herself in the mirror and telling herself she was a coward did nothing but made more tears fall. Her face had turned a shade of red, her eyes were puffy from tears, her hair was sticking to her face from the tears and her clothes were barely covering her body; she looked like a mess, or someone who had just escaped from a murderer.

After half an hour of letting her tears fall, they stopped and Susan could fully contain herself from the tears when a thought came to her; it appeared to her that the men in the high court weren't going to do anything about the fog – so it seemed that she must take matters into her own hands and inspire the men to fight for the end of the fog.

A small smile came onto her lips as she picked herself off the floor, grabbing the nearest dress and pair of shoes in her wardrobe – a long sleeved black laced dress and black leather ballet slippers – and placed her hair in a tight fishtail braid. Before she left her room, she looked at herself and almost didn't recognise her reflection; gone was the crying girl and in her place was a powerful and confident woman.

Taking a deep breath; she left her room and practically marched towards the study where the discussion was still taking place and gone seemingly nowhere since Susan had left. The men gave a slight bow when she arrived, silence falling across the room as she moved into the centre of the room. "Gentlemen, this is war. I am declaring war against Jadis in Ettinsmoor, and that is an order. I have been informed that she is the main mastermind behind this fog which caused the death of many members of the court and will kill many more if we do not fight back. We leave at first light tomorrow morning. Prepare your best warriors and pray to your god that he has mercy on the souls we are about to destroy. The dead will be avenged and the living will be victorious."


	14. Born to Die

**Author's note: **This is set the night before everyone goes to battle so don't worry – the action will start soon, I promise you. This goes along with the previous chapter with it being short and whatnot. But either way, I hope you enjoy this chapter and keep up your continued support, it really does make my day.

**Chapter song: **Born To Die by Lana Del Rey.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_Don't make me sad, don't make me cry_

_Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough_

_I don't know why_

_Keep making me laugh, let's go get high_

_The road is long, we carry on_

_Try to have fun in the meantime_

_Come and take a walk on the wild side_

_Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain_

_You like your girls insane_

_Choose your last words_

_This is the last time_

_Cause you and I, we were born to die"_

Susan couldn't sleep; the thought of her going to war was driving her insane. Although, she was proud of herself over the fact that she had the power over the men, and somehow convinced them to get an army together to fight against the fog; she rather liked that idea of being in charge but she couldn't get used to it anytime soon since back in England, she wasn't exactly capable of leading any kind of army or be in control of anything.

Sighing to herself, Susan threw her covers off herself and decided to go for a walk around the castle to hopefully take her mind off the thoughts of war. Draping a blanket across her shoulders, Susan quietly walked through the silent castle, the moonlight guiding her way.

As she was walking through the castle, she walked past Caspian's chambers and quickly noticed that his door was open. Frowning to herself, she walked inside to see the silhouette of Caspian sat outside on his balcony with a bottle of liquor beside him.

Taking a deep breath, Susan quietly walked out to him and joined Caspian on the bench, the bottle of liquor between them. "Are you scared to go to war?" She asked, her grip on the blanket growing tighter as they sat in the cold air.

Caspian turned to her, taking a moment to answer. "A little, are you?"

"Terrified. I'm almost certain we're going to die before we even get to Ettinsmoor."

"Then we should make the most of our last night," Caspian muttered before taking Susan's face in his hands and pressing a gentle kiss to her lips.

Susan tried to ignore the way her heart skipped a beat inside her chest once she felt Caspian's lips connect with hers but found it almost impossible, her cheeks flushed as she placed her fist on his chest, just to create some distance between them. "Caspian, you're drunk. You'll regret this in the morning."

"Who said I was drunk?" Caspian kept trying to kiss Susan but she resisted every time, pushing him away at his advances. She might adore Caspian and worship the ground he walked on, she would not put up with being treated in a way that made her feel uncomfortable.

"You are obviously not in your right mind. I don't know, Caspian. I mean, I want to – believe me, I want to. But it feels wrong; you're in love with Suzanna. And with that, I will leave you to your alcohol. I'll see you at sunrise. And make sure you're sober by the time sunrise comes around, you'll thank me later." With one last push, Susan grabbed her blanket and almost sprinted back to her room, shutting the door behind her. Once the door was shut, Susan backed away from the door until she reached her bed. Her mind was going into overdrive from what had just happened. She knew she'd never forgive Caspian for what he did but she needed to try to forget; although she already knew what would happen – she would _never_ forget it and it would haunt her for the rest of her life, whenever someone would be intimate with her, she'd remember that, and it would never go away.

* * *

**Second author's note: **Short chapters are over! Now I can start with the action! Now the scene between Caspian and Susan was actually based on a real life experience with this guy I knew (except it went further even while I said no) and I wanted to put it in because I felt like we need more representation with being assaulted without being actually raped or beaten – if that makes sense. It probably won't but it's almost 3am here so most of my babbling probably won't.

Whatever – see you all in the next chapter;

Love, Lorna.


	15. Strange Behaviour

**Author's note: **The action is finally here! Enjoy! And I'm sorry this is so overdue, I've been working at the local shop and that's taken up almost all of my free time but I hope this chapter was worth the wait.

**Chapter song: **Strange Behaviour by Tasha Baxter.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_Do you ever get that feeling_

_That you think you're gonna die?_

_When your heart's imminent beating_

_Makes you want to cry_

_When you feel you can't go on_

_With this sombre life_

_Every time you get close to the top_

_You fall_

_Crashing down from the sky"_

Susan had hardly slept that night, every time she closed her eyes, her mind would remind her of what had happened between her and Caspian and that was enough to keep her awake. She noticed the dark bags under her eyes as the servants helped her dress and do her hair, tying her hair into a tight fishtail braid to keep it out of her way.

She dressed into simple clothing; black long sleeved top and dark trousers but had a tight breastplate over her chest – almost suffocating her – and various other items of chainmail. She didn't know if her chainmail or her emotions made it hard for her to breathe; but she felt as if her heart was about to explode out of her chest and someone was sitting on her neck, making it hard to do almost anything. She was surprised to see that none of the servants had noticed her obvious distress, either they didn't notice or they didn't care, or perhaps a combination of the two.

By the time Susan was ready, the lump in her throat had gotten bigger and almost made her want to stay at the castle but she knew she couldn't back down now; she had an entire army to lead since it was her idea to declare war, after all. Even though the only experience she had with wars were history textbooks and the occasional war epic movies she had seen over the years.

The servants packed her bag and filled it with clothes and various other items before leaving the room and allowing Susan to have some time on her own. Looking around her room, she sighed as she walked around it, her fingertips trailing over the bed before moving over towards the dressing table. She was going to miss the room she'd felt most at home in this world, she knew that for sure.

Quickly looking to make sure no-one was looking, Susan grabbed her book from under her bed and placed it inside her bag, hiding it under clothes to make sure no-one would find it. Despite Suzanna's words, Susan was still going to bring the book, even though it probably was useless after the chain of events she had set off just by being in Narnia. Taking one last look around her room, Susan picked up her bag and left the room, making her way down towards the courtyard where the army had been assembled.

Arriving in the courtyard, she was quickly armed with a bow and arrow along with a small knife on her belt, something Susan wasn't completely comfortable with using since the closest she had come to a weapon was a plastic water gun when she was nine.

She hadn't even had the weapons on her for five minutes before a man – assumed to be the general – came over to her and started removing her weapons from her body. "I'm sorry, miss; you can't come with us," she informed her, holding the bow and arrow set in his arms.

Susan's eyes narrowed at him, keeping a tight grip on the knife in her belt. "Why the hell not?"

"Because you're a woman, it's not safe for you."

"Excuse me? I can't go because I'm a woman?"

"That is exactly what I just said, I object to you coming."

Susan grabbed the general, kicking him to the floor and onto his knees before grabbing a knife from her belt and holding it against his neck but never once drawing blood. "Anyone else want to object to me coming?" Silence. "Just as I thought. I shouldn't be afraid of what's ahead of me, what's ahead of me should be scared of me." A slight chuckle left her lips as she brought her knife back into her belt. "Goddamn right, you should be scared of me."

* * *

**Note: **[One Woman Army by Porcelain Black plays in the background as Susan held a knife to the general] I'm so proud of my badass little cupcake, fighting off anyone who gets in her way. Hope this chapter was the perfect way to get into the action without forcing you guys into it, I kind of want to ease you into it so it's not so in your face unless that's what you guys want; which I'm happy to do!

Brownie points if you saw the Halsey reference!

Cast list;

Anna Popplewell _**as **_Susan/Suzanna

Ben Barnes _**as**_ Caspian

Imogen Poots _**as**_ Helena

Georgie Henley _**as**_ Lucy

William Moseley _**as**_ Peter

Skandar Keynes _**as**_ Edmund

Tilda Swinton _**as**_ Jadis, the White Witch

Daisy Ridley _**as**_ Emori (You'll meet her in the next few chapters coming up, I promise)

With love, Lorna.


	16. Dangerous

**Author's note: **The action and drama continues… Emori will come into the story in the next chapter, I promise! And she's just as badass as Susan, my two badass ladies kicking butt – just the way I like it.

Once again, I'm sorry this was so long overdue; I've been working on a bunch of new stories and I've had a little bit of writer's block with this story but I'm going to try to focus on this story until I'm finished with it which will happen at some point in the distant future. I already know how I want to end this story; it's just frustrating to me to fill in the gaps between this point of the story and the ending.

I really need to stop saying sorry for all these late chapters, I'm sure it's getting boring for all of you guys to read about my pathetic excuses for not updating, but I'll probably keep doing it until I finish this story, haha. And I hope for all our sakes, that will be soon since I'm keen on writing the next story without worrying about this one. God, I'm babbling here. Just shut me up now.

**Chapter song: **Dangerous by Big Data.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_You understand they've got a plan for us_

_I bet you didn't know that I was dangerous_

_It must be fate, I found a place for us_

_I bet you didn't know someone could love you this much"_

"Where did you learn to do that?" Caspian asked, jogging to keep up with Susan at the front of the army, a firm grip still held on her knife.

The army had left the castle several minutes after Susan's outburst; almost the entire army was slightly scared of Susan, simply because of the move she pulled on their general and if she wasn't afraid to do that to a general, she wouldn't be afraid to do it to anyone she came into contact with and anyone who tried to get in her way, that was just who she was.

"I'm not as fragile as I look. It's easy to learn if you really try." Susan told him firmly, not even looking at him as she kept on walking and facing the woods ahead of her. She didn't _**want**_ to look at him; he'd lost the right to look at her when he tried to force her into something she obviously didn't want.

"Apparently not… I wanted to apologise about my actions last night, the alcohol must have got to me and-."

Susan cut him off, raising a finger over his lips as she stared at him straight in the eyes for the first time since they'd talked the previous night. "Don't apologise, make it up to me." Once she finished speaking, her hand dropped back to her side and brought her face back to look straight ahead of her.

"How do I do that?"

"I don't know, but first you can start by not touching me until I've given you consent. Simple but necessary. Does that sound fair?"

"After the way I treated you, that does seem fair."

Susan said nothing after that, her jaw clenching together as she kept on walking, never looking back towards Caspian as she continued to walk – which had more turned into powerwalking as she tried to create some distance away from herself and Caspian.

After that night, all feelings of fondness she had for Caspian had gone. She felt sick to her stomach; she'd wasted so many months – no, _**years**_ – obsessing over him and for him to just disrespect her in that way proved that she had indeed wasted a lot of her time, far too much of her time.

But she couldn't dwell on those thoughts anymore, she had to focus on the things she had done right since she arrived; she convinced an entire army to follow her to Ettinsmoor and defeat Jadis and proved to that same army that she wasn't just a silly little girl, she knew how to defend herself. But the more Susan thought about it, there wasn't much she had done right since she arrived; she'd done far more wrong than right.

The things she'd done wrong definitely outweighed all the things she'd done right; she caused so many deaths and she knew she was going to cause more deaths once the war started – she was just waiting for the death toll to rise and for the guilt to plague her for years to come. She'd read about what happened to people who started wars and had lived through them; the memories and the guilt drove them insane and they'd live with reminders of what they had done to survive until the day they died.

Susan wasn't keen on living with those demons, but it seemed like she had to. The butterfly effect was set in motion and there was nothing she could do to stop it, she had to live with the consequences of her actions – no matter how hard she tried to convince herself they weren't there or she didn't do it.


	17. Yellow Flicker Beat

**Author's Note: **Yes, more Lorde songs – I promise you that there's one more Lorde song left in this fanfic then that's it. Just as a little teaser for that chapter, it's called Glory and Gore – I SHALL MAKE THE WAIT KILL YOU. I adore Lorde with an undying love so I guess that's the only answer I can give you as to why I've used another Lorde song as the chapter song.

And at long last; Emori has arrived and I love her already, I hope you guys love her has much as I do!

And just for you guys, I updated early! I have a new writing scheme set up and hopefully, I'll have chapters coming out far quicker than they used to be.

**Chapter song: **Yellow Flicker Beat by Lorde.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_I'm a princess cut from marble, smoother than a storm._

_And the scars that mark my body, they're silver and gold,_

_My blood is a flood of rubies, precious stones,_

_It keeps my veins hot, the fire's found a home in me._

_I move through town, I'm quiet like a fight,_

_And my necklace is of rope, I tie it and untie._

_And now people talk to me, but nothing ever hits home_

_People talk to me, and all the voices just burn holes."_

Several hours later, the army had been through many small villages and now had nothing up ahead of them but open woodland and vast emptiness. Caspian had long since left Susan alone after their little chat, mostly from what she had told him but at the same time, he was slightly intimidated by her and what she could do, much like the rest of the army.

It wasn't until the army had begun its journey into thick and dense woods before Susan started to get uneasy, something just didn't _**feel**_ right. She tried to hide the feeling away but it wouldn't leave her; it was like she was being watched and something was following her but every time she looked around, there was nothing there apart from the army and trees. Even with the army, Susan brought her hand down to make sure her knife was still on her hip and that made her feel a little more at ease, but not much.

A few minutes later, Susan heard a twig cracking up ahead of her and that was enough to put her on high alert. She raised her first in the air to signal the army to stop as she brought out her bow and arrow to find to source of whatever was around her. The army came to a standstill as Susan kept a firm grip on her bow and arrow, trying to show little to no fear. She could hear various noises around her that weren't coming from her or the army that was behind her – they came from something else.

Her eyes narrowed at she looked around, trying to find whoever was around the army. After going around in circles, Susan finally saw a shadow near her and she saw the perfect opportunity to take down whoever was following her. Susan aimed her arrow at a shadow in a tree just above her head but before she let it go, the shadow moved in front of her to reveal a teenage girl, carrying a large knife in her hand. "Who are you?" She asked, her bow still aimed at the teenager.

"I'm Emori. Who the hell are you?" Emori didn't place her knife down as she glared back at Susan, her eyes narrowing. Emori couldn't be older than twenty and she was rather beautiful but she had a scar across her face from above her left eyebrow that stretched to her jawline on the right side of her face. Her dark hair was placed into two tight plaited buns by the sides of her head, leaving no trace to hide her scar, leaving it on full display for everyone to see. She wore dark and heavy clothes so she'd easily hide in the dark corners of the forest and be almost undetectable, something that would've come in handy during the times of the fog and unfriendly encounters around every corner.

Seeing that Emori didn't place down her knife, Susan didn't place down her bow and arrow; instead keeping it locked onto Emori's body. "Susan, we're on our way to destroy Jadis and return Narnia back to its normal state."

A sly smile came onto Emori's lips, placing her knife back into its holder on her hips and jumping down from her hiding place on the tree and landed neatly on the ground just in front of Susan. "You won't even get out of Narnia and let alone near Ettinsmoor without my help, I'm coming with you."

Susan lowered her bow and arrow as Emori came down onto the ground in front of her, but she didn't let her guard down. She was still unsure about the girl who had come out of nowhere and looked ready to kill everyone, even when she had offered help. "Thank you for the offer but-"

"No, no, I wasn't offering, I was telling you." A wide smile came across Emori's face as she found her place in the army and allowed the army to keep moving, leaving Susan almost speechless as she stumbled through the woods to get back to the front of the army. She didn't quite know how to react to Emori; she was thankful someone was there to help with the efforts but something was a little off about her, Susan just couldn't pinpoint it and it frustrated her to think that she couldn't figure out what was with Emori, she decided not to tell anyone about it until she was certain she knew what was going on with Emori – however long that would eventually end up taking.

* * *

_**Note**_

What do you guys think is up with Emori? I'd love to hear your theories and if you enjoyed this chapter!

Until next time;

Lorna (SuspianFeels)


	18. This Is Gospel

**Author's note: **The action continues, enjoy! This is actually two chapters turned into one because I really want to get to the important parts and skip through the boring parts.

**Chapter song: **This is Gospel by Panic! At the Disco.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_Don't try to sleep through the end of the world_

_And bury me alive_

_'Cause I won't give up without a fight_

_If you love me let me go_

_If you love me let me go_

'_Cause these words are knives and often leave scars_

_The fear of falling apart_

_And truth be told, I never was yours_

_The fear, the fear of falling apart"_

Over the course of the next several days, Emori slowly started warming up to Susan, telling her more and more about herself as the pair walked towards Ettinsmoor. Susan still felt uneasy around her, though. But decided not to mention it since her feeling could always be wrong.

From what Emori had said; she was a scavenger, who made her home anywhere she wanted to after her family disappeared, she taught herself how to defend herself soon after and was as determined as Susan was to destroy the fog.

Even with all those points to prove that Emori was good, Susan's gut feeling still didn't let up with the feeling that she was bad news, no matter how many times she had to tell herself that she was just overreacting. She was determined to find out what was truly going on with Emori, no matter how dark that truth may come to be.

The army set up camp a few miles just outside the capital of Ettinsmoor, and it was decided that the army would have a full nights rest before going any further, however, the whole army was still on edge just because Jadis' spies could be anywhere and if they were found, they'd all be dead in minutes.

Susan didn't sleep that night, every time she closed her eyes, she'd be reminded of all the things that had gone wrong since she'd arrived. She lay awake in her bed until the sun started to rise above the horizon, then she decided to start her day and pretend she slept at all. She changed into new clothes which consisted of a dark shirt and trousers and a leather jacket and leather shoes to match. She took her hair out of the now uncomfortable fishtail braid and placed it into a simple ponytail to keep it out of her face.

Walking out of her tent, she quickly noticed that Caspian and Emori were already awake and were looking over a map and that Caspian was holding a pair of binoculars along with half of the map. She walked up to the pair, and said her good mornings. "What's going on?"

"We've found Jadis' castle, it's just above the line of trees out in front of us so our best guess is that it's a few miles away – perhaps five or ten miles away, we're not sure yet." Emori answered, keeping her gaze fixed upon the map in front of her.

Susan nodded her head, her arms folding across her chest. "Someone's gonna have to go in there," she mused, looking at the map.

"That's the idea; I've volunteered to go if that's okay with you." Emori gave Susan a slight smile before handing her the map and taking the binoculars from Caspian.

"I'll go with you." Susan agreed; keeping her eyes fixed upon the map before rolling it back up. Caspian took hold of Susan's hand but she quickly slipped her hand out of his grip, holding it away from his body. "Don't. If you have any feelings for me, you'll let me go. I _**have**_ to do this and you, not anybody will stop me." She spat, walking away from Caspian and towards Emori.

"Ready?" Emori asked, an eyebrow rose up at Susan as a small smile spread across her lips.

Susan didn't even answer; she simply nodded her head before she began her long walk towards Jadis' castle, Emori following close behind.

* * *

_**Note**_

I feel so bad that I keep giving you all really short chapters! You guys really deserve way better but since I have serious writer's block and I really want to finish this story soon, it looks like you'll have to put up with these short chapters. But I suppose it's better than nothing.

I literally wrote the ending with Girls Like Girls playing on my iTunes and I'm so tempted to have Emori have a crush on Susan – I don't know if I'll go with that idea, though. I mean, it's cute but I'm not sure. If you guys want me to put it in, I will!

With love;

Lorna (SuspianFeels)


	19. Castle

**Author's note: **New chapter for you guys! Thank you so much for all the feedback and comments you guys give me, I really do read all of them and they really do make my day.

Things are getting more and more intense and I love it! All I'll say about the next few chapters is that Susan's days in Narnia are almost over – that's all I'll say and I'll make sure the wait will kill you all. Jk, I'm mean but I'm not _**that**_ mean.

Blame the lateness of this chapter on Jeopardy and Left 4 Dead 2; Jeopardy has ruined my life by being filled with feels and it's just mean but I highly recommend it because it's awesome. Then Left 4 Dead 2 because it's filled the hole where GTA 5 used to be and I've been playing it for like 2 days straight.

**Chapter song: **Castle by Halsey.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_I'm headed straight for the castle_

_They wanna make me their queen_

_And there's an old man sitting on the throne that's saying that I probably shouldn't be so mean_

_I'm headed straight for the castle_

_They've got the kingdom locked up_

_And there's an old man sitting on the throne that's saying I should probably keep my pretty mouth shut"_

By the time Emori and Susan arrived at Jadis' castle, their hands were tightly entwined – mostly because of Susan's nerves about meeting Jadis and having to be the ambassador for the entire Narnian army, despite not actually being a Narnian herself.

From what she remembered from the history books, Susan knew she had to treat Jadis with respect and not speak to her unless spoken to and she must never _**ever**_ disrespect Jadis during her talk. She wasn't aware of the Narnian laws but she had a guess that disrespecting people in power wouldn't end well, although it would probably end up in some kind of painful punishment – whatever that might end up being.

Once the pair was escorted into the throne room, Susan dropped Emori's hand and instead placed her hands behind her back and made her way towards Jadis. Jadis' cold green eyes followed the pair as they walked towards her throne, stopping just in front of her to give low curtsies.

Susan took a small step forward and took a deep breath before starting. "Your majesty, my name is Susan and I am accompanied by Emori – we are ambassadors sent from Narnia to ask of you to stop the fog you have placed on our lands, which have killed numerous members of our people."

Jadis looked between Susan and Emori, taking a while to answer before she finally spoke. "What makes you think I did it? Do you have any proof that I am the one responsible for the curse placed upon your lands?"

Susan frowned, looking back to Emori for a moment before looking back towards Jadis. "Well, we don't have any hard evidence pointing towards you, but many of the Narnians are saying you are the one who has enough power to do something like this."

"Didn't your parents ever tell you not to listen to superstition? Then again, you aren't the brightest of sparks like I thought you were, we easily sent in a spy and you didn't even notice the difference."

Susan couldn't believe what she was hearing, a spy? Who would even- "Emori, please tell me you're not the spy."

Emori smirked, walking over towards Jadis and taking her place beside her. "Don't look so surprised. Your gut instinct was obviously right, yet you decided to ignore it – not such a clever girl anymore, are you?"

Susan didn't know what hurt more – the fact that two people pretty much called her stupid or the fact that not only Emori betrayed her but her gut instinct was right the whole time and she didn't even realize it. Swallowing her pride, Susan glared at Jadis. "Jadis, this is your final warning; stand down, or prepare for war."

"You think I'm scared of you, Susan? You are greatly mistaken. You think you're a warrior queen when you haven't even been on a battlefield," a small laugh left her lips as she stood up from her throne, her eyes narrowing. "If you want a war, then a war you shall get. Prepare your troops; we fight at dawn at the meadow several miles from here. I cannot wait to be the one to kill you, Susan."

Susan pretty much sprinted out of Jadis' castle after those woods, her tears freely falling down her cheeks as she made her way back to the Narnian camp, stumbling over several times because of her tears clouding her vision. Once she arrived back, she ran straight into Caspian's arms and cried on his shoulder as he led her into his tent.

"What happened?" Caspian asked, wiping away some of the tears that fell down her cheeks as he looked into her eyes.

Susan took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down so she would be understood with what she was saying to Caspian instead of being a crying mess. "Emori was the spy, she betrayed us. I knew she was bad news but I didn't say, I should've just said. But I might be wrong here but I think we might have declared war against Jadis."


	20. Glory and Gore

**Author's note: **This chapter is set the night before the war and yes, there will be some fluffy Suspian feels in this chapter! And I promise that this is the last use of a Lorde song for the chapter song – I'll just have to think of new singers to listen to even though I have the next few chapters planned out with songs and everything so there's that. Although Lorde is awesome, I think it's time to let someone else have the chapter song.

I will say that there is a lemon implied in this chapter but I won't be writing one since I fail at writing anyways and I'm not even gonna attempt to write a lemon – I'll leave that all to the imagination you, lovely readers.

**Chapter song: **Glory and Gore by Lorde.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_No-one round here's good at keeping their eyes closed_

_The sun's starting to light up when we're walking home_

_Tired little laughs, gold-lie promises: we'll always win at this_

_I don't ever think about death_

_It's alright if you do, it's fine_

_We gladiate but I guess we're really fighting ourselves_

_Roughing up our minds so we're ready when the kill time comes_

_Wide awake in bed, words in my brain, _

'_Secretly you love this do you even wanna go free?'_

_Let me in the ring, I'll show you what that big word means"_

After tossing and turning in her bed for hours, Susan finally gave up on sleep and made her way out of her tent, keeping her blanket around her shoulders. She noticed Caspian was still awake and sitting in front of a small camp fire and decided to sit down next to him.

"Couldn't sleep?" Caspian asked, moving closer to Susan as he kept his gaze fixed on the fire in front of them.

Susan stared into the flames, too, keeping the blanket tightly around her shoulders as she shook her head. "No. But it's rather strange; the thought of going into battle to face almost certain death would normally terrify someone. But I'm strangely calm in this moment. I don't know why I can't sleep, however. Something's probably bothering me, but I can't figure out what it is."

Caspian looked at Susan for a moment, a sad smile coming onto his lips. "That's a change from the girl I used to know, the one who screamed bloody murder at the fog – now you're going into war and you're not even afraid."

Susan smiled, too. Remembering how she used to be before she arrived in Narnia and how afraid she used to be over everything. "I suppose pain does that to a person, but I do know one thing now; I am not afraid. Death doesn't faze me anymore, if I die tomorrow, I know I died for a cause and be remembered as a hero instead of being back in England where I'd probably die for nothing and be forgotten. It's a strange world."

"The strangest," Caspian murmured before he placed a hand on Susan's cheek and brought his lips to hers.

It was a short and sweet kiss, which ended when Susan placed a hand over Caspian's. Both of them blushed a little, staring at the ground beneath their feet as they awkwardly tried to think of something to say that wasn't awkward chuckles. Rolling her eyes, Susan mimicked Caspian's earlier move and kissed his lips, her heart doing small summersaults inside her chest.

"I thought you didn't want to be touched unless you said so," Caspian whispered against her lips, a smile spread across his face as he rested his forehead against hers.

Susan smiled, too, kissing him once more to make him stop talking. "Oh, shut up. You're ruining the moment." She whispered before taking his hand and leading him inside her tent, closing the opening after they were both inside and made a silent deal to try to be quiet so they wouldn't wake the entire army up – something that was hard but was inevitably achieved.

It was true that Susan wasn't a virgin; no, she lost it to a sweetheart of hers last summer after they decided to have a movie night and play video games that quickly turned into their clothes on the floor and the door having to be locked just in case someone tried to enter while this… _**encounter**_ was happening; which would've been extremely embarrassing and would completely ruin the romantic mood.

Afterwards, Susan rested in Caspian's arms, her head resting in the crook of his neck while his fingers trailed patterns up and down her bare arm. No words were said – none _**needed**_ to be said in that moment. The only sounds that the pair heard was the quiet sound of snoring from the soldiers, their erratic breathing and beating hearts and the fire crackling outside. The perfect sounds to hear at a time like that.

For the first time in what felt like years, Susan finally slept soundly without any nightmares or disturbance – something that was fully welcomed and needed, the thoughts of war were a distant memory that never crossed her mind during her slumber.


	21. Now You

**Author's note: **The war has finally started, after sooooo long. We've finally made it. Enjoy! I hope this doesn't let you guys down since I know how long you've all been waiting for this moment to happen so I'm praying you're not disappointed with the final result.

**Chapter song: **Now You by Gjan.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_Now listen_

_No oh no, there is no competition_

_Yes oh yes, I'm in my best condition_

_Walking on thin ice, dressed like a badass_

_Hide all your fake knives_

_I'm about to puke_

_And now you standing here alone_

_Left the ones who loved you coward_

_Standing here alone, here alone_

_Now you standing here alone_

_Left the ones who loved you coward_

_Oh, the ones who loved you"_

The Narnian army stood at one end of the field, trying to show no signs of fear as they looked at the army that faced them. They were greatly outnumbered by Jadis' forces, and they were all certain that they would all surely die. The entire Narnian army looked towards Susan, the only person who showed no sign of fear. Instead, Susan's features were etched into a permanent look of suppressed rage and pure determination.

Susan was still on cloud nine after the events that happened the previous night, her lips still remembering the feeling of Caspian's and her skin still showing the signs of what had happened – although, Susan did try her hardest to cover them up. Just because it _**happened**_, doesn't mean she needed to let the entire army know that it did.

Staring out at the vast field before her, Susan saw Emori running across the battlefield with her hands up in surrender, it almost made Susan place her bow and arrow down but it wasn't enough. Swallowing her pride, Susan aimed her bow and arrow and fired. The arrow landed directly in Emori's left eye, killing her almost instantly. "I don't give second chances, you should've thought about that before you betrayed me, bitch," she muttered to herself as she brought down her bow and arrow set to look at Jadis' army. The sound of a battle cry echoed across the hills followed by the sound of hundreds of feet sprinting across the grass towards them.

_**Shit.**_

Raising her arm, Susan turned to the army behind her, swallowing every sign of fear and doubt that were inside her mind. "For Narnia!" She shouted, igniting a cheer from the army before they too charged towards Jadis' army, reaching them within seconds. Turning towards Caspian who was still beside her, she gave him a slight smile before taking his hand in hers. "Let's go save our people and the world, so it seems."

The pair sprinted onto the battlefield, killing shadow figures that surrounded them, turning them into dust. To distract her from the thought of killing other people, Susan instead drowned out the sounds of war with some loud pop song and imagined herself playing some kind of video game and strangely enough, it actually worked.

Susan released her arrow into the chest of a shadow figure directly in front of her before turning towards Caspian to check he was still there and he was okay. But what she saw made her heart almost break into a million pieces and her whole world stop.

She saw the shadows holding one of her arrows she had used a few moments beforehand and forcefully throwing it into Caspian's stomach. Their eyes met and the look of fear and pain mirrored in each other's faces.

"Caspian!" Susan screamed at the top of her lungs as she ran across the battlefield towards him, punching shadow figures left and right as she ran towards Caspian, trying to get to him as quickly as she could. Arriving to him, she dropped her weapons to the ground beside her. Holding Caspian's body in her arms, she looked up at the blackened sky and sees a falling star.


	22. Battle Cry

**Author's note: **I'm so happy I can finally post this chapter up; I've been working on it pretty much ever since I started writing the story. But thankfully for you guys, this is _**not**_ the end of the story. We have a little more to go before the end so I hope you all stick around to see it. Super short but super important.

**Chapter song:** Battle Cry by Imagine Dragons.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_Just one more time before I go_

_I'll let you know_

_That all this time I've been afraid_

_Wouldn't let it show_

_Nobody can save me now, no_

_Nobody can save me now_

_Stars are only visible in darkness_

_Fear is ever-changing and evolving_

_And I have been poisoned inside_

_But I, I feel so alive_

_Nobody can save me now_

_The king is crowned_

_It's do or die_

_Nobody can save me now_

_The only sound_

_Is the battle cry"_

The battle scene that surrounded Caspian and Susan seemed to pause and fade away, leaving the pair in the darkness, the only light seemingly being the shooting star that had turned into the brightest light anyone had ever seen, it reminded Susan of a car's headlights only much brighter and illuminated far more light.

Out of the light, the dark silhouette of Aslan blocked some of the light as he made his way over towards Caspian and Susan. Standing up, Susan almost ran over towards Aslan, more tears falling down her cheeks. "Aslan, please, help me save him. He's dying. Do something." She pleaded, her hands holding onto his.

Aslan looked at Susan before turning his gaze over to Caspian and back to Susan. "You already know what you have to do to save him – the question is will you do it?"

Susan was slightly taken aback by Aslan's answer, looking down at the ground as she released a deep sigh. "Oh, of course," she whispered to herself – she always knew how to save Caspian's life, she just needed to wait for the perfect opportunity to use it. "If I do this, what will happen to Caspian?" She asked, already knowing within her heart the answer as she looked back up to Aslan.

"Everything will go back to how it used to be before you arrived, he will have no memory of you whatsoever; it will be as if you never existed in this world." Aslan replied, nodding his head.

"Susan, please, if you do this, I will never see you again. You can never come back." Caspian almost sounded like he was crying as he tried to move towards Susan, but he couldn't due to his injury.

Susan turned towards Caspian, her heart beating a mile a minute. "Don't you get it? I have to do this. I have to save you. The story wasn't supposed to end like this; you're supposed to survive this war and live a long and happy life with Suzanna. That's what's supposed to happen, that's what's written in the book, and that's what I have to make right." She turned back to Aslan, moving the hair that was whipping around her face to be behind her ears. "I wish everything was back to how it was before I arrived – just like it was in the book. Like, I never existed in this world. It's time to wake up." She turned away from the bright light and Aslan, a single tear falling down her cheek as she looked back at the scene before her. "My Caspian… goodbye." Then she closed her eyes and everything went black.


	23. No Love

**Author's note: **So, Susan is finally home and now comes the second part of her journey – and I hope you guys enjoy it. These next few chapters will be very true to life and will include things such as drugs and alcohol usage – just giving you guys a heads up with this stuff. But I hope you enjoy it all the same.

I've changed the chapter song so many times, it's insane. I think this is the fourth or maybe fifth song I've used and none of them are really perfect but I'm trying here folks! And I'm sorry for the explicit lyrics in the song I picked – I love the song anyways and I've wanted to use it for a while but I wasn't sure about it due to the lyrics but whatever. I'm babbling here.

**Chapter song: **No Love by Eminem feat. Lil Wayne.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_Throw dirt on me and grow a wildflower_

_But it's "fuck the world", get a child out her_

_Yeah, my life a bitch, but you know nothing about her_

_Been to hell and back, I can show you vouchers_

_I'm rolling Sweets, I'm smoking sour_

_Married to the game but she broke her vows_

_That's why my bars are full of broken bottles_

_And my night stands are full of open Bibles, uh._

_I think about more than I forget_

_But I don't go around fire expecting not to sweat_

_And these niggas know I lay them down, make them beg_

_Bitches try to kick me while I'm down: I'll break your leg_

_Money outweighing problems on a triple beam_

_I'm sticking to the script, you niggas skipping scenes, uh._

_Be good or be good at it_

_Fucking right I've got my gun, semi-Cartermatic_

_Yeah, put a dick in their mouth, so I guess it's "fuck what they say"_

_I'm high as a bitch: up, up and away_

_Man, I'll come down in a couple of days_

_OK, you want me up in a cage, then I'll come out in beast mode_

_I got this world stuck in the safe, combination is the G-code_

_It's Weezy motherfucker, blood gang and I'm in bleed mode_

_All about my dough but I don't even check the peep-hole_

_So you can keep knocking but won't knock me down_

_No love lost, no love found"_

Susan's eyes fluttered open and she couldn't stop the smile that formed on her lips – she was home. It had worked. It had actually worked. She picked up her phone and turned it on to see the date – 8:34 am on the 20th of July – one day after the end of term. She was lying in her own bed with the sun streaming through her curtains; she was in her t-shirt and shorts she was wearing all those months ago, to her at least.

Sitting up in bed, she heard the usual sounds of a Finchley street outside; cars going past, the occasional loud radio along with loud ringtones of passers-by – Susan was truly home. A part of her was happy to be back at home and she couldn't wait for her life to get back to normal but another part of her was sad that she was home and wanted to go back to Narnia and finish what she started.

Rolling out of bed, Susan quietly made her way downstairs towards the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea and give her time to think about what she wanted to do, aside from go back to Narnia. Being back at home just didn't feel… _**right **_to her anymore. She'd spent so much of her time in Narnia wishing to come home and now that she was, she wished she would be back in Narnia. It was a double edged sword – save Caspian, but go back home to her normal or stay in Narnia and lose her family.

Abandoning her tea, Susan walked back upstairs to change into a simple tank top with a black skirt and black tights and a grey cardigan with brown ankle boots to match. She grabbed her sunglasses along with her phone and headphones before she left the house and walked down her road, going nowhere in particular. She just needed to walk somewhere where her thoughts wouldn't get in the way.

Despite the sun being up and shining down on the street, Susan still felt cold and felt a slight chill run down her exposed arms as she walked. Rolling her eyes to herself, she rubbed her hands up and down her arms, trying to warm herself up as she regretted not wearing a proper jacket to keep her warm.

Arriving at the local park, Susan sat down at one of the benches with her back to the sun and the view of the city before her, with her music blaring something she wasn't even paying attention to anymore. Before she knew it, Susan was full on sobbing into the sleeves of her cardigan, her sunglasses sitting on the bench beside her. Taking out her headphones, she tried to stop her crying but nothing seemed to be working.

Susan almost jumped out of her skin once she noticed a girl sitting next to her on the bench. She looked almost identical to Emori – except the scar was nowhere to be seen, probably hidden away with make-up, Susan guessed. "Hey, are you okay?" The girl asked, grabbing a tissue for Susan to use from her backpack before handing it to her.

Susan shook her head, taking the tissue from her and wiping her eyes and blowing her nose. She didn't dare say anything, she didn't even know if she'd say anything that would be understood at that moment. But thanks to the tissue, her crying wasn't as severe as it was.

"Is it a guy?"

Susan nodded.

"Do I need to kill him for you?"

A small smile came onto Susan's lips as she shook her head. "No, I think I'm okay."

The girl smiled, too. "I'm Amy, by the way. And you are?" Amy held out her hand towards Susan, her smile still on her lips.

Susan took Amy's hand and shook it once, keeping her tissue in the opposite hand. "Susan; nice to meet you, Amy. Thanks for the tissue."

"No problem, Susan. I'm just glad you're okay. Now, tell me why a girl like you is crying her eyes out on a bench at 9am on a Saturday morning." Amy moved to sit closer to Susan, bringing her legs to cross over one another on the bench.

Susan sighed, taking a moment to think up a lie before starting her fake story of why she was crying. After that, Amy and Susan began a very close friendship – almost like best friends and sisters. But still Susan didn't tell her the real reason why she was crying on that bench, and she never did. She was sure Amy would've called her crazy, and she didn't want that.


	24. Habits (Stay High)

**Author's note: **I might make the next load of chapters really short so we can get straight to the parts where Susan actually sees Caspian again (yes, you did just read that right – I am writing it where Susan will see Caspian again, you guys just have to be patient). It's all up to you guys, just let me know if you want shorter chapters and your wishes will be my command.

This song is literally everything – alternate songs for this chapter are Wires by The Neighbourhood and Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day.

**Chapter song: **Habits (Stay High) by Tove Lo.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_Staying in my play pretend_

_Where the fun ain't got no end_

_Can't go home alone again_

_Need someone to numb the pain_

_You're gone and I gotta stay_

_High all the time_

_To keep you off my mind_

_High all the time_

_To keep you off my mind_

_Spend my days locked in a haze_

_Trying to forget you babe_

_I fall back down_

_Gotta stay high all my life_

_To forget I'm missing you"_

It didn't take long for Susan to truly miss Narnia and within weeks of coming back to England, she started to show signs of it and she started to spiral downward into a dark place. She spent more time with her friends (mostly Amy); drinking, smoking and getting into trouble – trying anything and everything to distract her from the thoughts of Narnia and Caspian. Her social media pages were filled with pictures of her parties and her getting drunk with her friends.

To everyone else, Susan was the happiest person they knew – always laughing and up for a party. But in reality, Susan had never felt unhappier. Whenever she was alone, she'd cry into a bottle of champagne she'd finish all by herself. She'd drink until she couldn't walk or even remember her name – all to forget Narnia and Caspian.

Relationships never seemed to last, people would always say it was because Susan wore her heart on her cheek rather than the old Susan would wear it on her sleeve. All her friends noticed the dramatic change in her but never questioned it and even when they did try to question it, she wouldn't even answer the question and moved onto something else to avoid it.

Susan's family noticed her change, too. The nice and quiet Susan was gone and Susan and now turned into a cold and narcissistic woman; something that Susan herself hated but she needed to be that person in order to forget Narnia. Who she was and who she needed to be were two very different people, but she didn't let anyone know that – not even her new best friend Amy. Why would she? Amy would just think Susan was on some kind of new drug if she told her about Narnia and Caspian.

Sitting on her bedroom floor, Susan was applying her make-up for another night out with Amy – something that happened far more often than she'd want to admit. She had a half empty bottle of champagne next to her and took occasional sips from it every once in a while. In all honesty, Susan _**hated**_ the taste of alcohol but she forced herself to love it simply because it provided an escape from her reality. It was complicated, and that was putting it simply.

Looking at herself in her mirror once all her make-up was on, she almost cried at how much she had changed in such a short space of time. And she wished desperately she could go back to being how she used to be, but she couldn't find that girl anywhere – even if she searched within the darkest corners of her heart, there wouldn't be anyone there.

It was funny, one of her friends would call her Marilyn Monroe and she'd pretend not to care or notice but believe me, she noticed every single time and so she'd consider herself like Marilyn – only the factor of pretending to be someone she wasn't for the sake of things rather than die at a young age and be always miserable, that was never Susan's intention.

Shoving back any and all negative thoughts, Susan picked herself up off the floor and grabbed her purse that only held her phone, a lighter and a half empty cigarette packet. She placed the bottle top back onto the bottle of champagne and placed it under her bed before leaving the room, turning the lights off as she went and closing the door behind her before she made her way downstairs and outside to wait for Amy to pick her up and take her to wherever the next party was.


	25. Home

**Author's note: **I've had this chapter on hold for such a long time, pretty much since I started writing and I think it was one of the easiest one to write out of all of them simply because I can understand how Susan is feeling and the things she's going through, much like any fangirl, really.

But I'm so thankful to everyone who's stuck with the story until here; it means so much to me to know that you guys liked my story and you continue to show your love and support.

BOOM – double update for y'all because I love you all and I really want to get this story finished so I can focus on other projects. Bonus points if you noticed the nod to my Anya stories in this chapter, too.

**Chapter song: **Home by Daughter.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_Now he's moving close,_

_My heart in my throat._

_I won't say a word,_

_But I think he knows_

_That I've hardly slept,_

_Since the night he left._

_His body always kept,_

_Mine inside of it._

_Keep the nightmares out,_

_Give me mouth to mouth._

_I can't live without you,_

_Take me to your house."_

It had been five months since Susan returned to her normal life in Finchley and it had been the longest five months of her life – the whole time she had spent in Narnia with Caspian had felt like mere moments rather than two months.

It was November now, the weather was getting colder and the leaves were starting to turn crimson and falling off their branches. The nights drew in quicker and ever since she came back – Susan hated the night-time. All she'd dream about was Caspian – she'd wake up in the middle of the night screaming and crying for him. But she knew she could never have him like she did – she made the choice to jump back to her own world to save him.

Back in her own world, she had nothing. There was always the same mindless chatter in school, the same conversations at the dinner table every night, the same view from her bedroom window, the same walk to and from school – she couldn't take much more of it. True, she loved her family but her heart yearned for her true love – and that love was stronger than any bond she had with her family.

Her family had noticed a drastic and slightly alarming change in Susan, but whenever someone tried to ask what was wrong; the same answer was always returned without fail "I'm just having a bad day."

_**Bad day? Bad life, more like.**_

Sitting on her window ledge, Susan watched the cold November rain pound down on her windows. She wrapped herself up in a blanket and kept a hand around a warm mug of tea she hadn't even drunk or taken a small sip out of, she just had it to keep herself warm.

Long gone are the days where Susan would drink away her troubles – they had gone almost as soon as she started school again and strangely enough, she didn't miss them and she was sure her entire family agreed with her. She was on her way to being the girl she used to be, quiet and polite. Except she was far quieter than she used to be, she was practically mute around everyone and that scared them a little – but Susan had told them countless times that she was fine and didn't need help or therapy, she was just sad over having no friends at her new school.

She was fine for the most part, it was just at night when she couldn't sleep and all she would think to do was stare out her window and think about everything she had done. She wouldn't cry; she'd do everything in her power to make sure she didn't cry – she was tired of tears and crying every five seconds over something so small.

Moving away from her window ledge, she grabbed a notebook she used as a diary and started writing in it – just to get the thoughts out of her head and stop her from going back to her old ways; "He was there and then he wasn't – like I blinked and he was gone. I feel like I'm moving in slow motion and everything around me is moving so fast, and there's all this pressure because everyone's hovering around me, waiting for me to do something and I can't do a goddamn thing. I miss him – all the time I miss him. It's not waves, it's constant – all the time."

She closed her book after that, a single tear making its way down her cheek and landed on the cover of her notebook. She didn't wipe it away that time and just left it, she was just tired. Tired of living the way she was; sad, alone and knew that nobody would understand her, even if she tried to tell them. She just hoped that soon there would come a sign of hope, but hope would come sooner than she expected and in the most unlikeliest of ways.


	26. White Noise

**Author's Note:** New chapter for you guys! All I have to say is that this fanfic is slowly coming to an end – I have a few more chapters left to go and then that'll be it, whoops. You guys knew this was coming, though!

I'll probably make the next two chapters short because this happens in one night and the next is the next morning and happens before the chapter after that – that probably doesn't make any sense but in simpler terms basically, the next three chapters all happen within the space of about 24 hours so they'll probably be short.

**Chapter song: **White Noise by PVRIS.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_I'm watching._

_I'm waiting._

_I'm aching. _

_Suffocating. _

_I'm breathing. _

_I'm speaking. _

_Can you hear me?_

_I'm screaming for you. _

_Sick of the lack of signal. _

_Sick of the lack of touch. _

_Sick of the static voice. _

_It's not enough, it's not enough. _

_Baby it's hard to be just what you need when all I speak is static screams._

_Can you hear me?"_

School had started after the Christmas holidays and everyone was confident about their "new year, new me" business, but Susan was having none of it. How could she start as a new person while she refused to let go of her life in Narnia? Of course, she didn't tell anyone about her adventures, not even Lucy. Everyone would think she was completely insane and that was the end of it. But she never forgot any of it, how could she? They were the best months of her life.

Late at night, Susan had taken up talking to the moon whenever the sky was clear and talking to her mirror when it was raining or an overcast night – somehow hoping Aslan or Suzanna was listening to her but she knew that they weren't. In this world, they didn't even know she existed. But it gave her some comfort and reminded her that it was real, that what happened in Narnia really did happen and it wasn't a dream.

Sitting on her window ledge, she stared up at the sky while she listened to music and took small sips of her tea, feeling completely at peace with herself. A small part of her missed the craziness of her party days but another and far bigger part of her didn't miss them at all, she just craved the silence and solitude of being alone with only her thoughts for company.

But being alone did have its downsides – for one, the only thing she thought about was her time in Narnia and how much she missed Caspian and the adventures she went on during her time there, something she tried to forget while she was drinking and doing things she would regret. When she was alone, she had nobody to hide behind with her thoughts and feelings; she had to face them herself and she didn't know if she could face those demons.

Resting her chin on her knees, she looked around her room and at all the clothes and belongings thrown around the room, and thought to herself that Finchley wasn't her home anymore – Narnia was her home and there was nothing she could do about it. The house she was in no longer felt like home, and though she did love her family dearly, she craved Narnia and Caspian.

Looking back up at the sky, Susan saw a shooting star and she dropped her mug on the floor and sprinted outside. "Aslan, I don't know if you can hear me but here goes; I wish I could have something of Narnia in my world. You know what I want, and I need it in my life. Or take me back to Narnia, I beg of you!"


	27. Soap

**Author's Note: **Set the morning after the last chapter, so next chapter will happen later that day during school. And I've finally used a Melanie Martinez song! I love her so you can tell that I'm very happy about it.

**Chapter song: **Soap by Melanie Martinez.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_I feel it coming out my throat_

_Guess I better wash my mouth out with soap_

_God, I wish I never spoke_

_Now I gotta wash my mouth out with soap_

_Think I got myself in trouble_

_So I fill the bath with bubbles_

_Then I'll put the towels all away_

_Should've never said the word "love"_

_Threw a toaster in the bathtub_

_I'm sick of all the games I have to play"_

When Susan woke up the next morning, she could tell something was different. She felt happier within herself and like something good was about to happen, a feeling she hadn't felt in months. She was a little disappointed that she wasn't in Narnia but somehow, she didn't seem to care.

Climbing out of bed, she quickly dressed in her uniform which consisted of a plain white shirt, a black corduroy dungaree dress that fell just above her knees and a black blazer with the school's crest on it – which just so happened to be a lion – and black pumps and black tights to complete it. Grabbing her school bag, Susan jogged downstairs to the kitchen to grab something to eat before going to school.

Once she arrived, she saw Lucy was already downstairs, already in her uniform and munching on some cereal. "I heard you," Lucy said to her sister, grabbing a drink from the fridge before sitting down at the table to continue eating her cereal.

"Huh?" Susan looked up from her plate of toast to look at her younger sister, her eyebrows fusing together in confusion.

"Last night, I heard you. You were shouting about Narnia or something," Lucy muttered through a mouthful of cereal, making sure none of it ended up on her uniform.

Susan fell silent for a moment, staring at her half-buttered toast and placed her knife down beside the plate. "I'll tell you when we're on our way to school, okay? I don't really want Pete and Ed to hear this and think I'm crazy."

Lucy nodded, cramming in her cereal and placing her empty bowl in the sink and downed her drink before grabbing her backpack and placed on her hat, gloves and scarf for the walk into school. Susan chuckled to herself as she took a single bite out of her toast before following after her sister and threw on her own hat, gloves and scarf before leaving the house and leading her sister down the cold and dark streets to school.

"It all started that night after the last day of school, when we saw that shooting star and we made a wish. Well, my wish came true and I was in Narnia. I met Caspian there and he was just as perfect as I imagined him to be. But then there was this fog that fell across Narnia and so I lead an army to fight it and I think we won – I don't know, Caspian was hurt so I wished on a star again to save his life and come back here.

"That's why I was so out of control for those weeks and months, drinking and smoking and all that – I was trying to forget him and move on with my life but it's impossible. Whenever I'm alone, I see him and think about him. I feel like everything is wrong when he's not here, I can't explain it."

Lucy listened earnestly, nodding her head and licking her lips after her sister spoke. "Do you love him?"

Susan didn't say anything; she just simply nodded her head before giving her sister a light smile. She felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders just by telling her sister what was wrong – it made her mood lighter and put her into more of a good mood than she already was, and even then that was pretty hard to do.


	28. Happy

**Author's Note: **Last chapter before the epilogue! Set during school, the same day as the last two chapters. Bonus points if you noticed the nod to my Anya stories in this chapter – if you guys wanna read them; just look for Anya of Archenland: The Whole Saga – all the stories are there for you to read for yourselves.

Wow, triple update for you guys, I'm seriously on a roll here – but probably all this is because I'm leading up to the final chapter. Which will probably come out in the next few days.

**Chapter song: **Happy by Marina and the Diamonds.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_I found what I'd been looking for in myself_

_Found a life worth living for someone else_

_Never thought that I could be, I could be_

_Happy, happy_

_I believe in possibility_

_I believe someone's watching over me_

_And finally I have found a way to be_

_Happy, happy_

_From the concrete to the coast_

_I was looking for a holy ghost_

_Like the land joining the sea_

_Happiness, it followed me"_

Susan was in the middle of geography when it happened, she was writing down notes about earthquakes for a class project when the classroom door opened to reveal the headmistress followed closely by a boy that made Susan's heart skip a beat inside her chest and made her drop her pen before quickly picking it back up again. It was _**him**_ – it was Caspian. Her wish had come true; Aslan must have heard her and granted her the wish.

"Students, I would like you all to meet our new student; his name is Ben and he's just transferred here from Petchey Academy and I want you all to make him feel welcome." The headmistress announced to the class before turning to Ben to mutter something in his ear, causing Ben to nod and make his way through the classroom and desks to find an empty space.

Ben took his place next to Susan which was the only empty space, giving her a slightly awkward smile as he placed his backpack down on the floor. "I'm sorry but you look familiar, your face reminds me of someone."

"Yours does too, I must say. I'm Susan." Susan placed her pen onto her book to fully concentrate on the boy before her, giving Ben a bright smile.

"It's you. I finally found you." Ben whispered, his hand placing over hers.

"I've been waiting for you, my king Caspian." Susan whispered back, gently squeezing his hand. "I knew you would return to me."

Ben smiled, too, but didn't say anything and instead turned his gaze towards the front of the classroom to understand what was going on during this class.

Once the class was over, Susan and Ben were pretty much inseparable the entire day. They were talking and laughing and acting like normal, happy teenagers. Susan found out that Ben was taken to England by Aslan who had informed him about everything in her world and also told him that whenever it was needed, Ben could summon Aslan for help, much like Suzanna was to Susan.

Walking home from school with Lucy, Susan wouldn't stop talking about it. To the point where Lucy was tempted to give her sister a friendly shove just to shut her up, but decided against it since it was a nice change to see her older sister happy and excited about something rather than have her bottle it up and pretend her feelings weren't there.

Arriving home, the girls saw their brothers home and setting up a game of Monopoly in the sitting room. Stepping into the room, Susan gave a small smile and a mumbled "hello" to Anya, Peter's girlfriend and a dear friend to Lucy. After changing into home clothes, Lucy and Susan sat on the sitting room floor to start playing a very long game of Monopoly – the game which Anya later won by bankrupting everyone else.


	29. Style

**Author's Note:** After our long journey, our story is finally at its end. Thank you all so much for supporting me through this story and I'll see you all in another story.

I don't know how I feel about this, to be honest. I'm happy that I've finished this story but I'm kind of sad as well because I loved writing this story and it just feels weird not having to write more on this story. I dunno, I'm babbling here, I'm just gonna shut up and let you guys read the last chapter in peace.

**Chapter song:** Style by Taylor Swift.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye_

_And I got that red lip classic thing that you like_

_And when we go crashing down, we come back every time_

_'Cause we never go out of style_

_We never go out of style_

_You got that long hair, slicked back, white t-shirt_

_And I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt_

_And when we go crashing down, we come back every time_

_'Cause we never go out of style_

_We never go out of style."_

Several days after Ben arrived, Susan had been asked out on a date by him, and she could hardly contain her excitement. The pair had agreed to meet at a small diner for a gourmet dinner of burgers and milkshakes a few minutes away from Susan's home, it was something small and meant to be the start of something more – something that both of them shared.

Sitting on her bed, Susan got out her phone and called Amy (since she was still close to her, even when Susan stopped her partying days) to ask about what she should wear for her first date with Ben. Once Amy picked up the phone, Susan almost squealed into the phone. "I've got a date with Ben!"

Amy almost dropped her botte of red nail polish on her bed; she was so excited over her best friend's date. "Babe, that's amazing! Where are you guys gonna go?"

Susan smiled as she heard the excitement in her friend's voice, causing her to blush a little. "The Zig Zag Diner, the one down the road."

"Oh my god, I love that place! I'll be over in ten minutes," Amy quickly hung up afterwards to grab her shoes and purse before starting the walk towards Susan's house. And ten minutes later, Susan answered the door to her best friend before the pair raced upstairs to Susan's room to prepare for the date.

After almost an hour of preparing, Amy was finally satisfied with her best friend's look for the date. Dressed in a flower patterned top, light blue denim jacket, white tights, beige high heeled boots and a flower patterned skirt; Susan hardly recognized herself. It suited her, even if it didn't even look like her usual style. Her make-up was minimal, mostly pale colours to boost her natural beauty but she had bright red lipstick over her lips, just to make them stand out. Her nails were painted pink, too, something that Susan wasn't entirely sure about but she went with it anyway.

Giving her friend one last hug and a "thank you", Susan grabbed her handbag and made her way out of her home and towards the diner. It wasn't the warmest day, but it wasn't cold, either. It was warmer in the sun but the freezing cold wind made Susan hug her arms over herself to keep herself warm.

Arriving at the diner, Susan noticed Ben waiting for her outside. Smiling, she walked up beside him and took his hand in hers. "You didn't have to wait outside for me, y'know. You could've gone inside, and besides, it's freezing out here."

Ben smiled too, pressing a gentle kiss to Susan's cheek before leading her inside the warm diner and towards a booth. "I know, but I wanted to make sure you wouldn't stand me up. I've heard many girls do that on first dates."

Susan frowned, sitting down at the table and placed her bag next to her. "Did you think I'd stand you up? After everything we've been through, I wouldn't even think about doing that to you."

Ben sat next to her, shrugging his shoulders. "I didn't want to seem rude."

Susan shrugged then too, placing the order for their food and drinks once the waitress arrived at their table. Their talking continued for the entire time they were at the diner (which turned into almost two hours), it was filled with laughing and reminiscing childhood memories. Susan couldn't stop the smile that came onto her lips as Ben slowly leaned in to kiss her. It was their first kiss in the modern world, and it was a perfect first kiss. It would be the first of many, and the start of a forever.

And thus, Susan Pevensie finally got her own happy ending.

"Well, _**almost**_." Susan announced; the scene behind her freezing as she walked towards the writer, completely moving away from the frozen face of Ben. "I'm not dating anyone, I never felt the glimmer of hope that day and there is no Ben. However, I am getting a D in History, an F in English and a U in Geography. And I wanted to give everyone a happy ending without telling the truth. So now I told you the truth, you don't need to tell everyone I managed to get a version of Caspian in my world, I have my books. And this amazing thing called fanfiction. It's taking up my time. Farewell, my friend." She walked away from the writer, the scene behind her turning into a film set with various members of cast and crew walking around, almost ignoring Susan as she walked towards the main exit and walking into the sunlight, her head held high as she placed her sunglasses on and made her way into the chaos of London's streets, a wide smile on her lips.

THE END.

* * *

**Author's note:** Finally, She Dreamed of Paradise has finished after god knows how many years. The ending of this came from a short film I watched called A Letter Home and I highly recommend you watch it since it's really good. Anyway, hopefully I'll see you all in another story.

To see Susan's outfit, it's on my polyvore account and it should be the first set you'll see.

With love;

Lorna (SuspianFeels)


	30. Mad Hatter

**Author's** **Note:** Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me.

I felt inspired to write a series of alternative endings for this story so here we are; enjoy! I have about three planned out but I might write more if I feel like it, but anyways – enjoy Susan being batshit crazy. These alternate endings might end up being really short since my attention span is the same size of a wooden spoon so whatever.

Blame Jennifer's Body and The Ward for this.

**Chapter song: **Mad Hatter by Melanie Martinez.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_I'm peeling the skin off my face_

_'Cause I really hate being safe_

_The normals, they make me afraid_

_The crazies, they make me feel sane_

_I'm nuts, baby, I'm mad,_

_The craziest friend that you've ever had_

_You think I'm psycho, you think I'm gone_

_Tell the psychiatrist something is wrong_

_Over the bend, entirely bonkers_

_You like me best when I'm off my rocker_

_Tell you a secret, I'm not alarmed_

_So what if I'm crazy? The best people are_

_All the best people are crazy, all the best people are"_

_**Alternative ending: Susan dreamed it all up, thus ending up in an asylum.**_

Susan was awoken by the usual sounds of an alarm at 7AM sharp. It was the beginning of her second year at Cerulean Heights Mental Institution, hidden away in the countryside of Buckinghamshire, away from almost all forms of society to help their patients be treated for their various mental issues. In all honesty, Susan _**despised**_ the place. She'd tried everything to get herself out during her two years there but nothing seemed to have worked, so it seemed as if she was stuck there permanently. She wasn't exactly going quietly with her stay in the asylum – she was one of the more destructive patients; she'd scream, fight and curse her way through the asylum.

Susan was known as a patient to avoid, it said so on her profile;

_**NAME:**_ Susan Annabelle Pevensie

_**DATE OF BIRTH:**_ 23rd July, 1994

_**DATE ADMITTED:**_ 3rd September, 2014

_**DATE DISCHARGED:**_ Unknown – highly recommended to never be discharged without permanent supervision.

_**FAMILY:**_ Alexander Pevensie, father; Eliza Pevensie, mother; Peter Pevensie, brother; Edmund Pevensie, brother; Lucy Pevensie, sister.

_**NOTES:**_ Patient shows signs of depression, anxiety and a small case of delusion/insanity – has a short temper, must be kept away from other patients and most staff unless she shows signs of progress due to fights with other patients and vulgar actions towards staff during therapy sessions. Extremely vexatious, do not engage without proper authority. Will not stop talking about a land called "Narnia", talked with Dr. Bumby and he believes it is a coping mechanism to deal with her anxiety.

Yeah, she really was _**that**_ bad.

Sitting down at her table, Susan glared at the plate of energy bars placed in front of her, not eating any of them. She hated the food which mostly consisted of energy bars and some healthy green stuff which tasted like someone had thrown up a pine tree and placed it in a microwave before they served it up and called it "food". It was disgusting. No wonder Susan was severely underweight with the garbage they were served which Susan chose not to eat just over how disgusting it looked and tasted.

"I recommend you eat those energy bars, you'll need the energy for exercising later today." The sound of one of the doctor's annoying voices brought Susan back into her reality, reminding her that yes, she was still in the asylum and no, nobody was going to save her anytime soon.

Susan gave the doctor a cold glare before launching herself towards the doctor, screaming at the top of her lungs as she attacked the doctor. "I recommend you shut the fuck up." She spat, holding the doctor down with all the strength she had.

But before she could do any serious damage, Susan was grabbed by several orderlies and dragged towards solitary confinement, kicking and screaming the entire way. She was shoved into the dark room and the door shut and was locked behind her. She let out one last loud and long scream before spitting towards the door and moving into one of the corners, bringing her legs into her chest.

After a few hours, Susan must have fallen asleep because she woke up when the moon was shining into her cell, and a plate of food had been pushed into her cell through the bottom of the door. She crawled across the floor towards the food and devoured it within seconds, she was _**starving**_. Once she finished eating, she moved back to her corner and stared up at the moon, something she couldn't see that well from her room. One of the only upsides to being in solitary confinement; you got a pretty good look at the moon if you were in the correct space.

"Susan…" a voice called out to her from the darkness, she knew that voice and she hated it as much as she hated the orderlies.

"Fuck off, Aslan. You're the whole reason why I'm stuck in here anyway, so fuck off." She hissed towards the darkness, moving slightly to ignore the voice even more and maybe go back to sleep, which she eventually did.

Susan remained at Cerulean Heights Mental Institution for another two years before she eventually decided to at least try to get better and she eventually achieved mental stability and she was later discharged on the 3rd of September, 2018, exactly four years since she was first admitted into the asylum. It is unclear what happened to Susan after she was discharged, but the doctors hoped that Susan lived a happy and normal life, without the worrying of the things that happened in her past which caused her to stay in the asylum.


	31. To Build a Home

**Author's Note: **Yup, another alternate ending. I have a lot of ideas, don't ask. This is set three years after the epilogue – and the part where Susan talks to the author never happened, if that makes sense. Last alternate ending and I actually mean that this time, haha.

Just as a random fact – the place Susan and Ben live (Buckland Common) is a real place and I lived there for almost two years so if you guys are curious about it, just look it up on Google and it's one of the most beautiful villages I've ever lived in.

Sorry this one isn't as good as the first one, I completely lost interest half way through and I just wanted to get this done and have it over with.

**Chapter song: **To Build a Home by The Cinematic Orchestra.

But without me babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

"_Out in the garden where we planted the seeds_

_There is a tree as old as me_

_Branches were sewn by the color of green_

_Ground had arose and passed its knees_

_By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top_

_I climbed the tree to see the world_

_When the gusts came around to blow me down_

_Held on as tightly as you held on me_

_Held on as tightly as you held on me_

_And I built a home_

_For you_

_For me"_

_**Alternative ending: Susan gets her **__**true**__** happy ending – the one she deserved.**_

It was 2:31AM when Susan was woken up by the sound of a baby crying through the baby monitor beside her bed. Sighing a little to herself, she quietly got out of bed, being careful not to wake her husband up and walked through the dark house towards her baby's room. By this point, Susan had been blessed with two beautiful children; three year old Sophie and four month old Finn and she finally felt like her life was complete with them in it.

Arriving in Finn's room, Susan picks up her crying infant, trying to shush him. "It's okay, sweetheart, mama's here." She pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head as she slowly paced around the room, gently rocking Finn and softly humming a lullaby. It wasn't uncommon for Finn to wake up in the middle of night, screaming and crying for his parents; both taking turns in who would look after him until he fell asleep in their arms.

It was times like these when she was thankful that Susan and her husband Ben made the choice to move away from the busy London streets and into the quiet village of Buckland Common – where she felt it would be best for her children to grow up without having to deal with the loud noises at all hours of the night.

Despite everything, she was happy with her life. She had a loving husband, two beautiful children and of course; a book in the works. The book was about Susan's own time in Narnia – she just changed some of the names and it was perfect. The only thing she was having trouble with was the ending – no matter how many times she wrote it, it didn't seem right. She'd been working on it for almost three months and whatever she tried; it just wouldn't work.

After almost half an hour, Finn finally fell asleep in his mother's arms and Susan placed him back into his crib before walking back into bed. However, Susan couldn't fall back asleep; her mind was racing over so many ideas for how to end her novel until almost an hour later, she had the perfect idea on how to end it.

Climbing out of bed, Susan rushed towards her study, turning on the light as she sat down at her desk and started up her laptop to continue writing. She decided that she wasn't going to sleep until her novel was finished – however long that would take. She finished the book a few minutes after six in the morning – her ending of having the fictionalized version of herself being fully empowered by her time in Narnia and it changed her life; it made her smarter, happier and far more eager to learn and grow as a human being.

Ben found Susan later that morning, her head resting on the desk beside her laptop, fast asleep as the now finished novel was open on her computer screen, ready and waiting to be sent to her publishing company.

Susan published the story under the title "Stranger's Country" almost six months after its completion and it later became a New York Times Best Seller with even rumours about a film adaption of the novel – although, Susan wasn't entirely keen on the idea. Susan never wrote another book after Stranger's Country, choosing to focus on family life rather than writing and she along with Ben welcomed another child, a girl they named Helena.

After everything Susan had been through, in both this world and Narnia, she never gave up hope on wishing upon stars, even if they never came true. She encouraged her children to do the same and well, what happened with them is another story entirely….

_**THE END.**_


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